The Worry

I dont know why i'm making my life so busy lately. Or AM I? Mb its a conspiracy to make me busy from external factors.

Prb due to the fact that uni's starting in 2 weeks. Mostly NTU guys are gg in next week. So seeing as a good deal of my friends are from NTU, they're probably savouring their last week of freedom. Though after NS i think there ain't no comparison of 'lack of freedom'.

On the agenda for the past few days included (among multiple tuition sessions) movie plans, bdae parties, soccer games, badminton games, and newspaper collections (WHAT??). Fine, change all to singular. One movie plan, one bday party, ...

Still very busy it seems. So much so that i just overslept on the Engin Welcome Session. Urgh.. Apparently that puts me marginally at a disadvantage.

Hope it doesnt mean that i'm going to miss the bidding, and then not do sufficient modules, and then not complete the requirements, and then get kicked out of uni, and then live my life as a beggar on the streets, and then...

Still the imagination runs wild. I read someone's t-shirt. It said "Worry is the Misuse of Imagination". Easy to say "Wow, thats truly inspiring." Difficult to apply and actually practise that. Still I worry abt every tiny 0.0001% chance of potential disaster. And yet i hope for every 0.00001% chance of true happiness as well.

And yet i think perhaps the above mentioned potential disaster, could also be a blessing in disguise. I think once you can see past disguises, everything probaly is a blessing. Jus a matter of how much disguise God puts on it.

We'll see, no?

The Other Island

As experienced as I am with certain other Island(s) in the Singapore Straits, I'm not with one of the more common ones. For example, I barely go to Sentosa - with the not-to-inaccurate assumption that its generally built to rake in the Yusof's i.e. dollars. I mean i doubt that there're many other beaches in the world with an entrance fee. But hey, i might be wrong.

The next most popular island paradise destination, i'd think wld hv to be Pulau Tekong. I mean a good deal of Singaporean Males do go there, so it ought to be up there on the list of popular island destinations. 9 weeks there, for me. 9 weeks barely aware that Tekong is indeed an island. So i'd give it a no-count on being frequented by me as in island.

Let's discount Pulau Pawai. The sole most awesome and pristine place left in Singapore. It just screams virgin. Rainforest. Mangrove. Coastal Vegetation. There's a 100-year old tree that was thought to be extinct, growing happily on Pawai's paradise, oblivious to the fact that its the last remaining of its species. Or at least one of the last. Pulau Pawai is also generally a partially well-kept secret. It might as well be a figment of my imagination. Hence let's discount it.

Pulau Ubin. Actually (apparently) meaning Granite Island. Finally got to going there today. Went biking with the Engin Camp OG (gender ratio again falling below the national average in nations rampant with female infanticide). I'm lazy to write too much so i'll just upload a few pics...

This is the boat to Ubin from Changi Jetty. Sadly most of my photos are candid. But hey, what better way to capture the moment? This is candid by the way. All Natural...

A photo can never capture scenery adequately. Or maybe its the fault of the photographer. Probably. Ah well..

Cycling through Ubin. And while walking into Chek Jawa, can you spot the two birdies?

Anw there're other photo's but I don't like to overburden my blog with Photos. Plus i'm just too freaking lazy to do so. Guess the rest wld be sitting on facebook yeah...

Cheers~

L(NS)G

Drainage

This is the milestone 200th post @UVLight. Well technically no, if you consider that the first part of the blog's entries was hosted at a different URL. But anyway, its still 200th. Just a random point.

On another hand, I feel the incessant dependance on microsoft now. Sans MS Office, life seems to be harder. Its expensive. I must try to download open office. Not to mention learn a whole new (not really) set of commands etc. Whatever the dollar saved asks for, it seems.

I want to stay at home for the next few days. Just leaving the house leaves me drained and broke. More drained. But still I think that I'm not going to be able to make the daily trip across the island to NUS. And back. I have stayed at home for too long now. And the engine that is my brain can't seem to be started. Oh great.

---

I just hate being me sometimes. I wonder if that'll ever change.

Cheers~

Cobwebs.

In the long long absence that this blog has seen from the rest of the world, I feel that perhaps some people would have thought it dead. Rightly so, for that certain period of time, of course. But as with everything that was never alive in the first place, voila, @UVlight springs back to life.

About 8 months have passed since my completion of my tenure with the SAF/RSAF, yet still sometimes I'd find myself drifting back into the army state of life. Which is another great reason why I'm itching for Uni to start. Though some part of me keeps nagging me that once Uni starts, @UVLight would 'die' again.. Doesnt matter.. Its ALLLIIIVVVEEE.

Ok never mind.

I just had the first little sample of life at Uni (Engin Camp), and though I find it a vastly inaccurate portrayal of what one would really be doing at the Varsity, I think that certain aspects of it does prepare us (mentally) for Uni.

For eg. the fact that engineering is BMT once more. With a startling ratio of guys:girls (7:3 approx), its surprising that the camp exco went ahead with the Secret Pal game, which involves matching one guy to one girl. Mathematically impossible unless we perhaps introduce more complex (and unreal) mathematics. I was in that lucky 4/7 guys that had no partner, in any case.

I'd rather a guy partner la, it'll perhaps be army once over. At least we can talk about army stuff anyway~..

Anyway, apart from that, I feel the camp was very fun - the activities, and the people are so far from what you would expect from Engineering Faculty. I mean, normally one tends to use the environment of and F-maths faculty as input in projecting the expected environment of Engineering faculty. But its so different. People actually have a life.

I shouldnt get my hopes too high. Or too low for that matter. Statistics tend to lie. After all, probably only the funnest 20% of engin fac attended the camp, and the rest of the 80% didn't. We'll see.

At least i got to stay at hostel.

Happily Ever After

I don't even want a happily ever after..

The Black Hole Within

I could think bad things happen to me. But i think i'd rather not thing that way. Definitely bad things happen to me. But so do good things. I guess thats pretty normal.

In this first post of 2008, i'll just not bother to make any resolutions for this year, cos i predict that if i make ambitious ones i'll not fulfill them. And i think the least ambitious thing (which even has a certain degree of ambition) is that i hope to be alive to see 2009.

I'm not bored, and i'm definitely not swamped with work. Not yet, at least. My mind is pretty busy dealing with probably more emotions than it has ever had to deal with. Emotions are hard, and i'm not used to them. Probably the emotion "bliss" has a certain blend of other emotions based on percentages that are unmeasurable quantities. And sometimes the language just doesnt cover what word best describes an emotion. Or perhaps i just don't know the word.

I think i'm feeling "the-complement-of-bliss".

And its so deep down inside that it makes it kinda hard to extract. Even i don't know where it is at or even that it is there. Until of course i strike a curb while parking 8 times. Super Blur and Dazed. And cause a traffic pile up 15+ cars long. Nt good.

I dunno where the hope has gone.

ORD "freedom"

I thought ORD means freedom.. but i seem to be more busy after ord than before it. ARF... Perhaps its because everybody thinks i'm super free (including myself) so we plan lots and lots of events for me.. And thus i'm busy..

Anw i'm done with army! (bit late update.. but yeah..) Surprisingly i don't miss pawai. Not even a bit.

And i'm gg off to adelaide, australia today.. be back on 1st dec! so.. till then!

Wasn't I Finished?

Super pissed. One day notice to spoil my holiday. For a few reasons.

1. Hv to cancel my driving lesson. Again.
2. Hv to go back to pawai after i was ritually done with it.
3. Hv to go back to CAMP after i was done with it.
4. Takes away one whole week.
5. Hv to burn 7.0 days of off-in-lieu.
6. The sms to call me back to office was the first thing i saw in the morning.

Plus point is there is still 9 days to my ORD. Which is not really a plus point since anyway i'd hv 9 days to ORD.

Finale

I'm done with Pawai. No more pawai dogs and their puppies. No more court maintenance. No more pristine island.

Had a ritual involving throwing away my pawai toothbrush and paste, in a symbolic representation of the death to this stage of my life. A lot of plus points to look forward to, so i shall ignore the sadness of leaving behind the island. One of the plus points is myORD. Coming soon in 17 days. And to consider that i actually have 5 days of leave, 7.5 days of off-in-lieu, and 6 days of weekend to look forward to... Well you do the math.

I hv to start thinking of what to do after ORD.

---

I just read the last book of adrian mole series. Its weird cos it sorta speaks (to me) about a sort of escapism from reality. How we might tend to imagine to want stuff that we can never have and never will be ours, perhaps a subconscious yearning for drama; a yearning nt to be happy.

I guess its all fine and dandy to hv a little bit of this craving for excitement, so long as we can see the little, and big, things in front of us making our days tick.

"happy people don't keep diaries"

Well i wish adrian mole all the best.

And i hope jacen solo returns from the dark side (which i know is not gg to happen, at least not in the next 5 books of "The Legacy of the Force" series.)

---

Just came back from squadron makan session. prob will be the last time i'm seeing most of the guys in SI. Awww.. soo sad. riiight..

I think its good that now i wouldnt be forced to stay with pple i can't stand.

Out-ta!

The Chicken and the Egg

We are, in general, familiar with the question "Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?". And perhaps with the exception of a select few who would give a definite answer, the rest of us would refrain from choosing between the two options.

The Chicken and the Egg coexist in a spiral (or cycle) that ensures the continued existence of each other; much like other self-perpetuating cycles. Self perpetuating cycles like anger, selfishness, hatred.

The answer to "Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?" is irrelevent, just as the answer to who threw the first hurtful word or action, or who launched the first assault missile, is irrelevent (or pointless).

Remove either the Chicken or the Egg, and neither exists. And again, there would not be any point to ask which came first.

While I do not play down the importance of learning the past for the purpose of learning FROM history, i think its more on a "good-to-know basis" rather than a "need-to-know basis".

---

Its quite amusing to read back on what i've written and see how much it looks like a mini-political essay. It just makes one realise how alike interpersonal relationships are to politics.

The Cold Wind of Boredom

I've realised that come ORD, I'll be lazing around at home doing absolutely nothing. Its scary to be bored out of your wits. But well.. I guess i'll manage being bored out of my wits.

On a much more positive note, i can start doing my ORD clearance. Finally.

And in a month's time, i'll be in true relaxing mode.

The Hand-Maiden

A great woman once said, "I'm but a mere hand-maiden of the Lord. Let His will be done unto me."

When you're in a boat in a great river, would you hv the courage to let go and let yourself drift in the direction the current takes you? And yet, when you let go, you are not struggling to paddle against the current anymore. You go where the current sends you. You do what the current tells you to do. The current brings you fresh water. It brings you fresh food.

And then you reach the Village at the end of the river. The villagers are panicking as there are people trapped out at sea. So you give them your boat and they go search for the missing people. And you are left with even less than you had when you put your life in the hands of the Current.

Yet why did that woman say what she said? And why am I trying to say the same thing?

Magnificat

Magnificat anima mea Dominum
Et exultavit spiritus meus in Deo salutari meo.
Quia respexit humilitatem ancillæ suæ: ecce enim ex hoc beatam me dicent omnes generationes.
Quia fecit mihi magna qui potens est, et sanctum nomen eius.

Et misericordia eius a progenie in progenies timentibus eum.
Fecit potentiam in brachio suo, dispersit superbos mente cordis sui.
Deposuit potentes de sede et exaltavit humiles.
Esurientes implevit bonis et divites dimisit inanes,

Suscepit Israel puerum suum recordatus misericordiæ suæ,
Sicut locutus est ad patres nostros, Abraham et semini eius in sæcula.

The Finishing Line

Hvn't been here for awhile. I think about a month. Oh well...

Just had another of the "tiring stretches" - consecutive weekend shifts followed by 3 consecutive days of coming back to camp. For IPPT. Which i finally managed to clear with silver. Good enough, in my opinion. In any case there's not much point in straining oneself to get a "nearly-gold" when that's still a silver.

And just when this "tiring stretch" is over, i hv another weekday shift to go for. Goodness.

Anw enough of this mindless tirade. Its not as if its going to help at all.

On a more positive note, i can see the finishing line of fulltime NS. I saw a blank clearance certificate and caressed it. And it got stuck to my hands. Stuck by the glue of longing. Anw i took the precious form back and am going to start filling it in, sans the reference no. which, i hope, will come any day soon.

I think i'll be ORDing as CPL rank. Not much of a chance of promotion, but heck. Pink IC is the ultimate promotion.

Sleepy. I think i'll take this night..

Out~

When Its Over

The weirdest of weird feelings just came over me - ORD is too soon. I just hope it clears off soon.

Actually its prob due to the fact that i'm beginning to stress out that i may not be able to clear my leave before that date, which would be catastrophically humiliating. Anyway its a great feeling to actually start planning your end-service leave. Though i might be left with a massive feeling of vacancy after it. Like after the O levels. Actually after the O levels wasn't that bad. More like after the PSLE.

---

Played soccer again. Lost again. I'm going to use the phrase "lost respectfully" again. 9-4. Not too bad. Now the physical and mental fatigue is showing. It was more evident during the game, though. Must get more fit.

No! I shall blame the scorching sun for blazing down so relentlessly on us. No, technically the sun always blazes down relentlessly on us. So i shall blame them culprits responsible for global warming. The cattle that belch heat-trapping methane gas.

Always blame everyone else but yourself. Its a rule of life.

---

I think for the first time in like forever i've witnessed Liverpool win on the first day of the season. Its a good omen, i think. i hope, rather.

Anw, mental fatigue prevents me from gg on.

Out.

The Invisibility Cloak

urgh.. my personal record is gg to be broken; i hvn't been back to office (i.e. Tengah) since 6 July (3.5 weeks ago).

But then its nicer to consider that i've been to office only twice since June 21. (5.5 weeks ago)

And i'm mentioning this now because i'm being forced to go back tmr, even though i have off. And that's an honour above honours, to be forced to come back because u've vanished for so long.. Truly i've inherited the Master's (known by his codename Rikimaru) Vanishing Ability..

Guys. Be Jealous.

And in that time (technically, a small portion of it), i've finished HP7. So sad... HP series is over.. Oh well..

12 more weeks to 6/nov/2006.

98 more days.

a shitload more hours. grrr...

Well, at least we're past 100. Cheers~!

HP7

21st July 2007.
Harry Potter is out, finally!! Can't wait for him. But wait. I didn't preorder. Damn.

Phasing Out

I donno wats up with HP 5. I think its possible that making a movie out of a best-seller book like Harry Potter is a good business move. You can even hire the worst possible actors, script writers, camera men, directors, producers etc.. and STILL it would be a blockbuster. It would do well to have respectable advertisements. But seriously, almost everybody who watched HP5 (Order of the Phoenix) says its a disappointment. And STILL I want to watch it. I STILL don't understand why..

Still donno when i'm gonna waste my $8 watch it.

---

Went walking around AMK Central. A perimeter stretching from anderson sec sch to kfc. A few rounds.. i think its part of the nostalgic phase where we realise that "damn, 19 years old already.. going to lose teenage status!" And its not that we're old or mature or ANYTHING like that - that's quite common sense. Its just that when you see little andersonians walking around, probably wondering "why are these three people gazing up at our school?", you just realise that since u were gone, the school looks like rubbish.

And its not because its disgustingly painted or anything - its just that its different. And that's just wrong. (technically, it IS painted as if the painters were colour blind)

Argh 19years... Hv to make a list of things to do before i turn 20. ORD will top that list.

I think it'll be a retrace my lost teenage years. awwww...

---

i also looked through my old stamp collection today. And i realise that if i keep that stamp collection long enough, i could probably show my grandchildren the stamps.. and they'll just look at me in confusion and ask smthg like "why on earth would pple ever need those? why didnt u just send those people e-mails? or chat with them on msn (or whatever) or smthg?"...

I still wonder how my dad (the one whom i took over the collection from) has stamps for rwanda and bolivia. i doubt half of us singaporeans even know where those places are. or if they even exist.

I also looked thru my coin collection. at my pre-euro dollar currency.. and i'm wondering if that collection would ever get phased out by a world-dollar..

Everything's getting phased out little by little... Wonder when's our turn. Cue Terminator Movie.

Out.

Bayshore Road

I learnt something new today. I learnt where Bayshore Road is. And I learnt that upper east coast road is quite far away from east coast park.

And i'm sharing my knowledge with you today.

Note: the last exit from east coast park to marine parade road is at lagoon. Still don't know where the exit is though.. whatever..

sleepy now.

Goodnight~

Save the Cheerleader, Save the Earth

07/07/07. Apparently this is a very special date.. Really, its been happening for the past 6 years, pple.. [01/01/01 - 06/06/06.] Furthermore it will happen for another 5 more years till 12 DEC 2012. I'm personally waiting for 13/12/11.

Anw, they selected 07/07/07 for a "Save The Earth" concert. Its about time they start spending energy to save the planet. I came across a very clever idea (someone else's) to save the earth..

"Stop at 2 kids!". Ya i guess its a good idea, i mean, after all, human beings are the folks mainly responsible for our planet's ailments. (I know cows also contributes to global warming by farting alot..) I also think its a good reason to legalise euthanasia and abortion while we're at it. Wait, why stop there? Why not legalise weapons of mass destruction - the most effective way of getting rid of us, the main cause of global warming?

Save the Cheerleader, Save the World - This doesn't hold true.

Anyway i think the earth can be saved. If it can't then mother nature will just take it out on us. Problem solved (QED).

---

I've just finished the busiest week i've had in some time. It started off with missing maintenance day, and thats when i thought i was quite lucky... Well...

Then came the nonsense, first ChiefAirForce Visit and movie on 29/06; then NDP Preview (more on that later), then Weekday Pawai shift, and parade on the downshift friday, followed by Presidential Garden Reception on Saturday and Sunday. And finally today i'm resting - slept till 12noon. But that's chiefly because i was watching federer win nadal at wimbledon.

[7-6, 4-6, 7-6, 2-6, 6-2]

---

The NDP Preview on 30/06 so cheated me of my money ($0). No Fireworks!!! they said it was a full rehearsal! whyyy no fireworks...?

Actually apart from that it was quite okay. the floating platform enables effects that previously were not possible- i.e. cool RSAF and RSN displays and other things i don't wish to spoil for those who would actually mind. I like the stadium - its quite colourful. Blazingly bloody hot though..

Anyway, Save the Earth. Out.

Malacca

Welcome home to Singapore and dreary work.

Back from Malacca, which was a family trip. Extended family trip. The main purpose of this mission, according to the chief planner of the trip (my aunt) was to see 2 sights.

The Shoe Shop, and the Clothes Shop.

And i'll be glad to say that that mission was accomplished. Anw with my usual animosity towards shopping, i conveniently missed out on a fair bit of the shopping by relaxing at the hotel, which, mind you, was quite comfy.

Well, it had air-con and a nice view. i don't ask for much.

Yeah, i know thats the Lobby, but still, we at least can tell the room has aircon.

Dunno what they're building on that island. Still doesn't look like much compared to my Pawai.

So taking the pilgrimages to the Shoe/Clothes shops aside, the main highlight for MY vacation was the Food. I'm guessing i'd put on a couple of kilos which i still haven't burnt off yet. I'll do it soon..

I think should one bother to measure the to-Malaysia and the from-Malaysia side of the causeway, i think one would discover that the from-Malaysia side sags a bit more than the to-Malaysia side. I don't think many vehicles leave singapore heavier than when they enter singapore.

Anw i digress..

We had portugese-malaccan food, nonya-malaccan food, not to mention sumptious breakfasts in the morning in which i would eat till lunch and dinner were catered for.

Thats Nonya food - the apparently-famous chicken rice ball. Which is just a ball of chicken rice. and flour. But i'm not a culnirary expert so i shan't give u the exact ingredients of the chicken rice ball.

This is the Portugese Settlement food place. If you ever go here, and then the waitress asks you if you want chilli in your food, say either "no", or "a little". don't under any circumstance say "of couuursseeee!". We tried that.

We got something i'ld term a chilli overdose. Fortunately we had a doctor on the trip, so all cases of diarrhoea and tummy upsets were easily medicated.

Very content after a nice nonya-style dinner...

---

And now very content back in singapore... Though i do realise that some day i'm gg to have to start working off the excess spare tyres i gained in malacca.

I also returned home with a few clothing articles that were purchased with optimal speed. I think i've discovered the secret to efficient shopping.

Even saying the phrase 'efficient shopping' sounds like an oxymoron. But the trick is to peruse all available articles for those that you most like, disregarding cost. Set your standards very high, or else you'd end up having to decide what you want.. Then agree with yourself that all the articles in ur possession are of equal standard, and choose the cheapest one.

NB. This methodology works best when shopping in M'sia. Do not try in a shop full of branded goods etc.

I shall offer a further reminder that i have approx 10 shifts to go. which seems very little.

I am also gg to redesign my blog. soon.