Strange. It seems that you wear a different set of glasses - that you see the world so differently from everyone else - free of complications, it seems. Thats how YOU see it.
Me? I know WHAT i feel - I just don't know HOW I feel.
Its like a beautiful flower growing by the roadside. You know that it warms your heart when you see it; you know that it brightens your day. You even envy its beauty because it irradiates the calmness of ages. And then you want it - you want it to be by your side forever.
And yet as you contemplate plucking that flower, you know that that would destroy it. Well, perhaps not entirely destroy it. But the flower wouldn't be happy in its new home, would it?
So arises the dilemma.
The fact is: there is a status quo. In that status quo, the flower is perfect, happy. In that same status quo, there is me - wanting the flower.
The question is: why go destroy the status quo when its so perfect?
I want those glasses that filter the complications. And then perhaps I can stop over-dramatising my life. I did say it before - (hollywood) love is such a complication. Bordering on unnecessary, perhaps. Well, "bordering" because it does serve an important purpose - to allow the next generation of human beings to enter this world, and thus destroy it just a little bit more. Oh side track - i think we've finally solved that problem with contraception.
so back to the issue, that now, i'm in need of the perfectly happy flower - something that can only be had if i don't need it.
catch22.
damn.