Neverland

Peterpan's one, not MJ's; although the general concept is the same. So we all grow up. That's inevitable. And i guess over the past few days i hv "grown up". Some sort of sudden dawn of reckoning as i was lying on my bed a few nights ago. no. last night. or maybe this morning. whichever.

If truth be told, i think i really would prefer not to grow up, because its adding a lot of burden of responsibilities etc. u don't get excused for ur mistakes that easily, its not all fun and carefree. I guess thats idealism, and no one has an ideal life, unless its one completely with the Lord. well, i'd admit, thats a very happy life. and i guess i used to have it, no worries n such. but i gave it up subconsciously. n im gg to find it back. Yupz...

I've been too self-absorbed, n overly concerned with things of this world, when idealistically, nthg in this world is really joy-giving.

I'm not preaching here la, lest u might get that idea. im jus calling it as i see it. Trying to analyse why i keep becoming so miserable nowadays, when in the past i was practically so much less so. In any case i think i'm the wrong person to ask about Christianity on that high level, due to my inadequacies at self expression. I know a few articulate people with this forte. If so happens any1 might be interested lar...

Though i doubt pple wld want to give up the materialistic world we live in.

Its so weird, but self torture is quite an enjoyable experience. Paradox of life on earth i think. haha...

okay... smthg else, which i shared in another blog, but well here goes again.

Self-Pity

is a constrictor of potential. It stops us from reaching a goal that we can set, and tt we might achieve. Because we seek refuge in self pity. Its in some senses a form of escapism to say that "we can't do it, bcos we're jus unable to". But tt's not true is it?

For example in the 3rd set of a badminton game, its easier to claim we're tired, n sumhow it seems like a valid reason to 'sorta' throw the game. Me? i'm mentally weak. (tt in itself is a demonstration of how mentally weak i am. Self-pity) But here let me try to make amends. I'll try to be stronger lar...

n yayness my spa n pw r over.

so on to a lighter 'topic'

But damn am i sooo behind my tutorials. i think. maybe. there's maths stats 6,7 and mechanics 7.2 (the latter being vomit-blood standard). n i hvnt even mentioned the upcoming prospect of the Geometric Distribution which has been said to be very very very hard. ah heck.. take it in my stride lar...

Okay, any1 wanna go out n study some day? cos its so difficult to study at home lor.. in the end i think im going to hv to do all my hw in sch before i go home every night. sowmya lend me ur house if they kick me out of sch.. hahahaha... jkjk...

den go home n happy happy sleep immediately. n im not exaggerating.

Badminton. ah jus play lar. bit tired of it in my opinion. sian. i wanna learn sum new sport le..

okay lar, my hw is beckoning. so ciao~!

~ultravioletlight~