yayness the holidays are here true n true. n i spent my first day of hols... yeah go on, guess - PLAYING - surprise surprise... oughtn't hv been the case? no. cos today is day of resting. n tmr is day-to-go-out-wid-old-frens. yupz... looking forward.
anyway looking backwards... i think i just blogged yesterday... which is quite uncommon for me. i mean. twice in two days? ok.. nvm off the topic. im blogging now cos theres no one online. not surprisingly - look at the time. LATERR... yeah... n i think i needed to talk to somebody this afternoon.. by "somebody" here i mean "anybody", not "some particular person".
though i'd hv settled for that too... Anyway... the point being, i was lying in my bed in the afternoon, quite tired but cant get to sleep cos i'd be thinking abt some stuff... stuff i think i'd reli be better off forgetting.
Not as serious as one might think. more like..
- 3pronged attack not working as a distraction
- nonchalance not working either
- n onli at certain times...
could be disasteeeeerous. (deliberate spelling error)
i'd get it off my chest before i get married. or engaged for that matter. just see how it unravels -o__ - before it gets halted in it tracks... o or o_______ _ _ to infinity. dreamz... o_o...
wide-eyed wonder.
i thought a communication blockade wld guide me on the right track. but guess not.. mental blockade too... anw tt reminiscence is probably the reason why im bloggin tonite... maybe i'd be fortunate n 'the madness of my com' wld decide not to publish this post... i donno why im saying that.. yeah... needed some means of expression. playin piano jus not working today...
why the blockade? why the fear of telling? bcos its nvr worked out perhaps? or bcos this is probably the onli time i'd ever thought it was right... i hv no idea. n i need that confirmation. i need it, but im afraid of getting it.
i mean, signs point towards -ve answer. n i think this time wld probably be worse than the other times... wld it be possible tt it wld be mutual? hmmm.. not likely, knowing me.
i aint good enough? bleah.. i'd rather be thinking that way actually..
hmm im gingerly treading ground so as to conceal identity. last person in the last possible place on earth.. sadd... maybe a good nights rest wld make me forget. otherwise goodness knows how i'd be able to concentrate on work when i hv to do it..
i've talked abt 7-9 paras abt what most (all probably) would find incomprehensible... sorry abt that.. needed to let smthgs out..
anyway today i watched three movies! - cinderella story, star wars episode V, and Shark Tale. coolios.. it was my day of rest after all... n i caught the trailer for episode III.. looks sooo cool.. hope the good guys win that battle though...
must get back in shape. n study.
oh n we going bangkok on thurs. way cool.. shopping trip. no time to visit old friends. awww... in all seriousness.. mb next time when we hv a longer break. n if i pass my napfa. so tt means must work harder on my arm n shoulder strength.. yeah.. n smashing power. vj-dynamyt.
yeah whatever.
mug GP. do tutorials. eeek tutorials. but good thing - i don seem to hv any school over the hols. which is cool. *boasts* (while chucklin' at the poor souls who hv to go to sch). but i got laughed at back by pammy. "school finishes in a month" n now is study break...
droolz...
must write letter to pple overseas. make a note. carol, jen, keegan. soon. i'm jus not good at keeping those kind of promises. sorry pple! porous memory. n procastination gene. those of u studying medicine/ bio-engineering help me isolate that gene... thx! ok kidding.. i jus absolutely do NOT condone bio-engineering. well except maybe in some very special cases. (keegan u are last cos u called me the other day) yeahh... i'd reli ought to stop doing that yeahh? yeahh.
tmr k? tmr is friends-day. my declaration. whichever of u 3 read this tell me k? i'd wanna noe whu actually reads my blog... whu does anyway??? hmmm... Shudder to find out...
okay time for my fave section: Random Verses
today's random verses comes from a song i like a lot - Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder if you ever think of me
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your precious memory
'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by?
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you... tonight
And I I
Don't wanna let you know
I I
Drown in your memory
I I
Don't wanna let this go
I I
Don't
okay that's it from me, bEnP on verycrazy(in thai).blogspot.com... see you on my next rendition of yesterday, today. (if u made sense of that past sentence, tell me too. but if u didnt, ur about the same as me. poor you)
bidding
you
adieu~
benjamin tm
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