Day 8 of a new chapter in my life. And I had a really really horrible dream.
Note: NOT a nightmare. A dream.
Because I didn't want it to end. I really did not.
It started with me going to prison; being turned in by my own mother... But thats just probably explained by a tv-show that i had just watched. And that wasn't the horrible part.
The horrible part was coming out of prison. And seeing her.
That's what it was. A dream and nothing more.
The only previous time that i ever had a dream that i really did not want to end was when i was a genie in my dream i.e. had magical powers. But i would so rather have this dream than that.
benp
institution of torture: NUS (Undefined Faculty)
years of existence: 23
occupation: part time student and full time stoner
ideal ambition: STILL shepherd's assistant
realistic ambition: mad scientist (who saves the world)
Thursday, September 24
Thursday, September 17
A Sense of Belonging
Ben Anderson dealt with the definition of nations. But somewhere in his notion of a nation being an imagined community, I found myself nodding my head in agreement. Mostly to the idea of how people need to belong, and how they identify themselves with communities. Like go up to a hardcore Victorian (from VJC or VS) and he will definitely profess a fair bit of loyalty and probably even space out for a few microseconds reminiscing about the awesome times he had at that school. Clearly, from my tone, I'm not he.
I don't identify myself with many groups, even though, in my experience, identification with a particular group can definitely break the ice. I remember two incidents, previously, where I was forced into proximity to people and there was clearly nothing to talk about. And then miraculously something came up (once it was soccer, and once it was a computer game) and suddenly that broke the ice.
But clearly identifying myself as a "soccer fan/player" or "fan of that computer game" does not suffice. I mean, where are these people now?
And identifying myself as an engineer (or a business student) is soo far from the truth. I need a smaller group that i can truly identify myself with, cos curently, i can't.
And everybody needs to belong right?
I don't identify myself with many groups, even though, in my experience, identification with a particular group can definitely break the ice. I remember two incidents, previously, where I was forced into proximity to people and there was clearly nothing to talk about. And then miraculously something came up (once it was soccer, and once it was a computer game) and suddenly that broke the ice.
But clearly identifying myself as a "soccer fan/player" or "fan of that computer game" does not suffice. I mean, where are these people now?
And identifying myself as an engineer (or a business student) is soo far from the truth. I need a smaller group that i can truly identify myself with, cos curently, i can't.
And everybody needs to belong right?
Tuesday, September 15
The Line
Its almost been a month; and this is a suprise, considering how many times I found myself blogging in my head. But then, its those times when you have that I-need-to-blog-in-my-head that two things happen:
I was miserable a couple of days back. At the risk of sounding cryptic, I thought I was imagining a phenomenon that made me feel worse. And then an incident happened where I realised that I wasn't imagining it - and the mere irony of it put abit of laughter into my day. Even if the phenomenon was truly happening to me.
I think it just serves to give me a clear path ahead. Of what I should do; and who matters to me. Doesnt really makes sense if people to whom you dont matter, matter alot to you, does it?
I used to think my issue was that people always leave. But now I realise that's not my issue. People do leave, but its a way of life - everyone gets that. My issue is that people don't come. And for so long I've accused myself of not making the necessary inroads to facilitate this development (people coming) - and then I realise that its just a matter of wrong target audience.
But for now, the line between friend and pseudofriend will be drawn. And we start with a clean (or good) slate.
On a different note - the USOpen of Tennis - I finally was interested in the ladies draw since the fairytale of Kim Clijsters is taking place. And of course in the men's, Nadal's defeat to del Potro was easily foreseeable considering their styles of play. I thought he'd lose, not get annihilated though. But upon watching that match, I actually opine that that was the closest fought annihilation i have ever seen. As much of an oxymoron that may be.
The "King of Queens" RF marches on towards another final and hopefully another grand slam to his name - after a shot in the semis that probably was a testament to his alien/divine origins. Considering the divine argument, Djokovic should not have been looking up to the heavens pleadingly - just across the net. He seems out to set a mark that the hypothetical Agassi - Graf child would struggle to come up to.
I really oughtnt have been watching that game - or blogging for that matter - considering i have a mid term test tmr. urgh...
- You're not at a computer terminal
- You would have censored that post anyway
I was miserable a couple of days back. At the risk of sounding cryptic, I thought I was imagining a phenomenon that made me feel worse. And then an incident happened where I realised that I wasn't imagining it - and the mere irony of it put abit of laughter into my day. Even if the phenomenon was truly happening to me.
I think it just serves to give me a clear path ahead. Of what I should do; and who matters to me. Doesnt really makes sense if people to whom you dont matter, matter alot to you, does it?
I used to think my issue was that people always leave. But now I realise that's not my issue. People do leave, but its a way of life - everyone gets that. My issue is that people don't come. And for so long I've accused myself of not making the necessary inroads to facilitate this development (people coming) - and then I realise that its just a matter of wrong target audience.
But for now, the line between friend and pseudofriend will be drawn. And we start with a clean (or good) slate.
On a different note - the USOpen of Tennis - I finally was interested in the ladies draw since the fairytale of Kim Clijsters is taking place. And of course in the men's, Nadal's defeat to del Potro was easily foreseeable considering their styles of play. I thought he'd lose, not get annihilated though. But upon watching that match, I actually opine that that was the closest fought annihilation i have ever seen. As much of an oxymoron that may be.
The "King of Queens" RF marches on towards another final and hopefully another grand slam to his name - after a shot in the semis that probably was a testament to his alien/divine origins. Considering the divine argument, Djokovic should not have been looking up to the heavens pleadingly - just across the net. He seems out to set a mark that the hypothetical Agassi - Graf child would struggle to come up to.
I really oughtnt have been watching that game - or blogging for that matter - considering i have a mid term test tmr. urgh...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)