Eulogy

In memory of June Holidays 2005.

IT was a good holiday. with many fun stuff done. it started out with a whole week of preparation for ICS Nite '05, culminating in a great sense of achievement for all those involved. ICS Nite Verdict - Success, i say. then came the chalet, and i delayed work once again.

Then came smthg completely unexpected. Illness. and so i delayed work again. three weeks gone without studying. so, as for being a studying holiday, no can do. but well.. it was a good holiday. let's raise our glasses, n a minute of silence, in memory of June 2005.

*funeral march*

n now look forward to what she's given birth to - mid year exams. eurgh...
and good luck pple. to each n every student ill-fated to be faced with that prospect, good luck.

cheerios~

Four A's

I'd like to dedicate this post to the memory of getting 4A's for promos, now resigning myself to the fact that a repeat is plainly impossible. so i'm waiting to pick up a couple of D's, C's and maybe if possible an A. and we havent even mentioned failing GP. i.e. below 45%.

What enticing prospects...

Worst part is i jus aint got no mood to pick up a book and start studying. the couch (new one) feels soo sleepable, and so does my bed, and so does practically everywhere. and watching TV is always much more interesting than reading my stupid file. browsing through stuff i've already known for more than a year. i think i'll go to sleep early and wake up bright (dark) and early tmr...

~.~

My room is clean.

All tidied up.

Thank

Heaven.

but enough of maths la.. i think chem is in more dire need. chem, and physics - electricity. Tmr i'll do the physics. today is chem day, after all. not tt i did any. so... here's to achieving the unachievable. here's to passing my mid years.

cheers~ n peace.

Well well well...

Boo!

Yes, its me. i know, i shld be studying, as are most other of my peers. but i'm fed up, n i hv generally resigned to the fact that i aint gonna score full marks, so why bother studying, when u going to be making mistakes anw right? anw, its been AGES since i've come close to full marks.. perhaps last time was in primary school, and man, that seems like ages ago. but well, i'd better hope i get A's, or should i? maybe i can screw up this exam, cos i reli xian to study more.... then prelim i will score well! yayness!

pah...

lemme crap on anw, remorselessly casually throwing my revision time away. anyway i did do a fair bit of work, 2 f-maths papers, brain-drain enough. (i know tts not the appropriate term for it, but yeah, u get the idea)

they say u can nvr work your brain TOO hard.

i beg to differ.

cheong too much, means sleep too little, sleep too little means not enough rest (as well as not enough exercise), means susceptible to illness, i.e. you CAN work your brain too much.

~.~

now let me ponder aloud smthg. is it right to say: "since its june, on average, half the pple my age are 18 yrs old"?

I'd hv thought so, but apparently its wrong. half the people my COHORT perhaps, are 18. not my age. english, schmenglish...

though i doubt there's a flaw in the statistical estimate.

~.~

I nvr knew stats could be soo hard until i tried my f-maths paper. yucks... you maths C pple reli dont know wat ur missing, so don get jealous of us if u think we onli study 3 subjects. pah..

maths C stats is hard too, after all... sheesh.. all english perhaps... useless language. no, i take it back. there are other languages more - i wont use the word - tt makes english a great language. But GP still sucks... yucks... eurgh.. n to think my beloved GP falls on the first day of school. well, might as well punctuate a horrid day - the first day of school - with a horrid event - GP exam. at least there's maths C to look forward too. at 2pm, while i wld be drowsy and tipsy and giddy and dizzy and basically tired n sleepy. yawnnn~

They reli know how to exhaust your mental stamina man. i'm drained now... i wonder how im gonna survive for the test. or for a levels. or for prelims. or for life. man...

they say man plays for the first 20 yrs of his life, n works like a cow for the rest of it.. man... i think my 20yrs are coming to an abrupt end, unless i migrate to greener pastures. literally. i think shepherding is non-intellectually-challenging.

maybe it is... if it is, i'm sure shepherd's assistant is non-intellectually-challenging anyhow.. unless there's a job for professional sleeper or smthg like that. pay me to sleep. droolz...

Cheerios~

Dawn of Reckoning

Suddenly.
Three weeks have passed, left one to go.
One week to complete three more subjects.
Please.

yes. Stop.

i ought to stop panicking, before i start frolicking at the mouth, or gooey stuff starts getting excreted, and other disgusting stuff starts to happen. or i might very well hyperventilate. after all, they TELL me i'm a highly TENSE person. not cool. but i think i kool. i like panicked situations, cos while everybody else is running about, searching for mars or smthg, i can retain my level-headedness. its fun, anyway.

anw, the cause of panic, abovestated, is no fun. while in other countries, students return from these 'summer holidays' rednecked and sunburnt, in steamy singapore, while we are baked every other day, holidays are the time when we are most often cooped up indoors, preferably under airconditioning. doing what? Studying, of course..

unless u are like me. who was down sick for one week. why do my holidays always have to be a sacrifice to illness. jeopardizing my mid-year marks, i tell u.

anw, progress report: i've finished stats. mechanics, will be completed soon. once i'm offline. then the papers will be completed tmr. add oil...

cheers~

Stats Wars

Its nearly over. i'm at the last chapter of stats. but the problem is, i still hv pure maths n mechanics left. puremaths, not reli much to study la, mostly yr1 work. but mechanics... har har.. different story.i think i going to slp very late tonight. or maybe not.

Anw, tmr, 15 june, in school, anybody wanna play badminton? jus sms me. or whatever.

its so difficult to organise this sorta stuff, i mean, everyone has their own commitments, n will gleefully accept the proposition - but wait, they wld then hv smthg on tt day, n then wldnt be able to make it. bleah... onli marcus has interest unbound. haha.. expected though. so i now call those with interest bound. if there is no clashing of interests,... but then, i donno if u guys tt interested in badminton? haha.. doesnt matter..

i think the park-soccer-guys have now transfigured themselves to become the park-skaters. so much so tt the way it transpired last evening, i spent the evening playing soccer wid pple half my size. take not, this is NOT the way i prefer. no insult to anurak or timothy, they'll grow up to be quite good players - they can do stuff with the ball i could onli hv dreamed of at their age. well maybe not. hehex i could 'rainbow backflip' at pri4. muahahahaha...

soccer's fun and all. sum kinda game where u put ur body on the line, n well, its comparable to stuff like extreme sports in some ways. well except for the frequency of injuries. badminton? u injure urself due to vigorous activity more than anything, u dont have to wait for pple to come n slide u or take ur knee to places its nvr been (i.e. bending ur legs into shapes its not supposed to be). a racquet to the head can cause concussion, but so can a boot to the face.

n ultimately the point of the whole entry goes back to work. i mean, tts wat most jc2 pple's life revolves round - work. sadly, i reckon, we are facing the cultural erosion of a rich tradition - the slacker tradition. hai... *shakes head sadly* oh well...

i wonder how good my bahasa meh-lah-you is now.. biarkan saya tulis hanya satu perenggan (i still cant pronounce tt word) dalam bahasa melayu. entah mengapa saya tiba-tiba terpesona dengan bahasa melayu. haha.. mungkin saya rinduimu, melayu. yucks... puuui!! puui!!..

ah whatever, one day i vow to make a completely melayu entry! its soo difficult right now. all the words seems lost up in some corner in my brain. typical of malay, sitting in a korner... HAHAHA.. jus kidding.

okay peace~

Liberation

Feels so good. i'm liberated. of all the things of this material world. matter, some stuff do not. so now i'm listening to music n chatting, relaxing, when ironically, i should be hard at work with my stats file n stats book in front of me. Stats Wars.

but well, i'll start it later i guess, now im resting. i did manage to clean up my room,

the pause was for congratulations, yeah, here!

okay thanks~, i'm proud of myself too.

and today i'm happy. and not because i can finally start my work. its bcos i hv learnt (or rather relearnt) to place my trust not in material things. i mean, sumday, God will sort out everything. i jus hv to help him, perhaps, my doing work now, or later, rather.

but i'm glad. i've been freed from this figurative bondage.

okay, today i played badminton for the first time in about 3 weeks. its probably the longest i've gone starved of badminton since the forced absence tt exams instigate, such as the o'levels. but well, apart from playing like a complete nook at first, i mean, seriously, we got thrashed by a couple of old men. but i'll attribute tt to lack of speed and a couple of mistakes on my part, n reckless smashing on terry's. but tts the way we were taught.

which brings me to an article in today's today. abt how sporting prodigies die out rapidly. perhaps tts wats happening? i wont die out. i'll relearn my stuff, if tts wat it takes. but rmb, onli recreational. i've hung up my competitive racquet. in more ways than u might imagine. haha.. okay, enough.

Peace~

I'm so fed up with myself. irritating. fickle-minded. foolhardy. but mainly fickle-minded. but sumhow im so sure of this. (wait, that line is soo familiar) yeah. a dangerous game, i'm playing. but sumhow, they say go with ur feelings (heart), n yeah. i noe wat tts telling me to do. but me? i'm prone to trusting my head above my heart.

next problem. sumbody might be getting hurt bcos of me. or mayb not. whatever it is, factually, its better to hurt early than late, if eventually hurt will come.

so good, no more problems.

see la

jus came back from chalet. quite tired, but nowadays not very used to sleeping early. so tts y im still up here so late. plus im waiting for my camera battery to charge. though i doubt tt wld be ready too soon.

one interesting discussion. weird names. some guy named john named his son Johns Son. pronounced that way. (not johnson) nowadays, ignorance goes unchecked, n civilisation is modified.

ignorance is the prime mover of civilisation, perhaps? very possibly. yar today i'll jus make this a very short entry lah. n the battery is still charging. so i'll jus end here, n probably update when things are sorted out. n mind u, i will sort things out. tts the way i, ben.p, work.

cheers/``/

ICS Nite

Today (or rather, yesterday) was ICS nite. so its all finally over, n i can finally go study now. i didnt screw up in the dances, well not too bad at least, thank God. (i did make one mistake, but tts bcos i lost my footing, and was completely blind to wat was going on arnd me.)

I think as expected Faisal and his Black Five were reli the main highlights. little irony. chitra n her company of pretty girls would hv a say in that too, cos im sure there was a great section in the crowd fascinated with them. i used 'fascinated' bcos its the cleanest, most innocent, word i can use for this situation. i mean, if i use other words, sumbody gonna get a-hurt really bad... i.e. this blog entry might well then be the last one of mine.

anw, onto the more normal dances. i.e. mine. it went smoothly enough. very well in fact. Tum se milke was damn fun la.. esp with the crowd yelling n cat-calling salman's name. some pple are popular. others are normal. still others are like me, unknown my more than 85% of the sch.

But im not complaining actually. i dont care two hoots how many pple noe me, cos duh, i don wanna noe every1. i jus need to noe the nicer pple, n i think i already do, to a large extent. anw, andss pple sumhow noe me, even now. maybe bcos i used to actively go back to my alma mater, being a good n loyal alumnus. haha...

random point: do you noe that alumnus onli refers to males? alumna is for females. alumni is plural, unless it refers to onli female graduates, in which case its alumnae. interesting? ok whatever.

anw back to ics nite. shyam was great. the two dramas were great. tho perhaps a critiscism wld be tt the first is way too idealistic n unreal, n the second, bit copycat. but putting that aside, the actors played their parts well, n the show, from where i watched it, was great.

overall great job la. indians can do it too.. im onli not writing soo much cos im soo tired. n well, i'd reli like to thank those who came to watch me la, even be it for a very short while esp marie, chunmin, shariza, jingzhi, ruebini, n everyone else whom might not hv known i was dancing but anw came... n also to those whom circumstances prevented but im sure they wld hv loved to come, i.e. terence n keegan... hahah...

okay so begins the onslaught on the enemy "MYES". the battle would not be easy, n serious preparation is vital. so probably i might not be coming online as often as i had been these past few days. MYES. i.e. mid year exams.

personally i think the MYES are coming at a very good time. Life's gettin abit mundane u noe.. probably these few days, socialising with a few pple, getting to noe them better, it was quite fun. but now, back to erm... boredom? loneliness? solitude? see la. soon things will improve, jus all we need is belief...

yeah okay, its super late, abt 2 am. so g'nite world.

cheerios/``/

Psycho Indians, Dances & Tests...

Dancing. now i hv a new dance to dance to. very brief, but tts because its at a frantic pace. but i think i can do it. onli worry now is tt i don panic when shoved centre-stage. can already feel the panic growing in me.

~compliance got me here.
~arrogance kept me here.
~sheer willpower will get me out of here.

up-down-ultraman

up-down-netplay

up-down-peeling apples

This is an example of stuff we use to rmb the steps. but each up n each down is 1 beat each. so imagine that la..

i think the names the guys come up with to rmb the moves are fantastic(ally funny). come to papa... n everyone can associate with it. come to papa... i think it'll be fantastic to watch the whole dance. but dances are all like that. the true beauty comes from a 3rd person's point of view. (if tt 3rd person is not hornily staring, captivated, enthralled, at one particular person in the group, that is). but tts jus a side comment - no implications on any real situations. hehex...

N the advertisement on TV now is abt "unmanageable hair". what coincidence.

probably half the world (more likely abt 6billion of the world) wld prob not understand tt coincidence, but unmanageable hair is a direct reference to chitra. (for the benefit of the 5.999... pple who still dont noe who chitra is,.. good for u) hahahaha... [duh she's some girl who's a damn pro dancer] [n unmanageable hair.] okay this is getting spastic. drop the subject.

i came across some guy who wrote sum nonsense on a white board. he could spell celibacy n some other fantastic word which i oso donno, but he couldnt spell anoynomous. (for the benefit of those pentium 1-3 series out there, actual spelling is anonymous)

i mean. anoynomous is probably a word i'd use to describe my brother when he's talking to me abt badminton when im trying to study. anoynomous is also probably i would use when Luis Garcia loses the ball in midfield for the tenth time in as many minutes in a game against West Brom, or Southampton for that matter. THAT is annoying.

Also, convienence. no comment. (read above, my comment would be similar)

i'm not saying im faultless, definitely if u cant find any mistake in this blog, be them grammatical errors, or speling errors, i'd slap myself. note that in the previous statement, i have already taken measures to spare my face from the humiliation of the self-inflicted wager-slap. boo-hoo...

Theres this one comedian, an indian guy, russel peters, or smthg to that like. super funny. couldnt stop laughing. as gobi says, "confirm go to hell one". (karthik looked really spastic laughing at it, cos he was listening to the guy through earphones, so it seemed that he was jus randomly laughing to himself. jus picture it.)

Anw, pple often listen to those who 'confirm go to hell one.' its human nature.

Disclaimer: im not saying all leaders will go to hell..

perhaps its like smthg like tt stoopid psychometric test today. 4 blardy hours, n i m finally thankful its over. no matter wat i score. the maths part was freaky fast, n it was more comprehension that maths. i mean, no algebra, no trigo, no stats, no mechanics. no wonder us FM pupils found it tough. (boring to be more precise).

n duh, we FM pupils couldnt do the verbal part, to a large extent. no need to say. actually to be honest, i completed the verbal section with like 4 min to spare, but well, it was tough, so i oughtnt be pleased with myself for that. half the things are soooo like between [cant tell] and [no] . sheesh. why they hv to make it so hard i'd nvr noe. i mean, we're not THAT smart.

on this subject, i don understand the reason for having exams so tough. to find the top students? we already KNOW who's the top student(s). the teachers already KNOW who their top students are. no names mentioned. perhaps onli reason is to challenge pple. bah... no comment.

reconsidering... okay maybe one comment. shld jus let those who lurve the challenge, challenge themselves. heex..

okay i think im jus writing on nonsense. duh no sch wld ever accept this method of examination. its not erm... democratic. or rather meritocratic, if there's such a word. else i coin it.

so lets jus be happy with what we have. hee haa jolly well haa..

okay tired. tmr got dance practice again. its a once-in-a-lifetime thing. so i'd better be happy abt it. heex.. okay aufwiedersehen~

cheerios/``/

Sunday Pi

Today is Sunday. i have to keep reminding myself that, cos i keep forgetting. after all, it feels like a monday. perhaps because yesterday felt like a sunday. n tt wld be because saturday felt like a friday. because friday was a half day. yeah, tt we all noe.

Anw, for a sunday, it was an odd sunday. no badminton in the morning. and i think if i count the number of times the word 'badminton' appears in my blog, i'd really shock myself. honestly. got too much badminton, complain. got no badminton, oso complain. qi-lah-kah...

hahaha.. mr goh is funny anw. but he's a nice guy, contrary to popular folklore. from his f-l-c-k services, to his clown-idiot duality. now i'd kinda miss it larhz..

~.~

so i slept in today. really in. like up to 10.15 am (compared to 6.30am on normal sundays). but i was supposed to spend an additional 1 hr in church. but i didnt... woopsie..

I was supposed to do tonnes of work today. i.e. the whole of statistics revision. yup, u guessed it right. i didnt do it. but i did do some GP essay.. completed it at least, so its good enough. but now later tonite must cheong maths again.. haaha.. but must do my exercise too. though i think i'm very likely to hang up my racquet, somehow badminton energy has disappeared.

now i noe where my excess mass came from. "E=mc2". true. u gain mass, u jus lose energy to do work or exercise. einsteins mass-energy relation in practice.. Hahaha!

~.~

In any case, i hv practices for ics dances soon. goodness knows when though. anw tmr i hv sch, n i suspect that the practice wld be tmr. so i'll msg those in charge whom i noe the no. of, n ask. otherwise, perhaps they jus donno my no. and lazy to find out. sheesh, its onli 20,000,000 possiblities right? maybe a bit less. i donno if a no. can comprise too many 9's... in strategic locations that is...
no dont interpret that wrongly, not bothering to hantam-buta 20 million numbers is wise, not inconsiderate..

i think the upcoming week is soo busy man. lessons in sch, psycho tests, cheers open support (always count on a victorian to be cheering), n of course ics nite. leavign jus thursday open. n we havent even included ics dance practices in that schedule. looks like a fascinating week coming up.

~.~

OHHH so much maths homework! Really a Sundae P

cheerios/``/

Showdowns. And Slowdowns.

VJ finally got its second title - hockey girls - but i think greater applaud goes out to the hockey guys. A div finals for guys hockey was the most exciting match i've ever seen. recently, at least. but ultimately rj were the better team - i mean on paper its quite impressive: 2 nat'ls, 5 combined sch's, rest club players. whu reli could ask for more?

But its fantastic to watch the game, n fantastic atmosphere, with all the cheering, even after they scored the 2nd goal tt by right sealed our fate. anw, great game.


Onto another Great Game. I bet most readers might already hv guessed what game i am referring to. frankly i didnt actually catch the game, but well, the scoreline (and goal-times) make it sound like probably the greatest finals since ManUtd's famous victory against Bayern Munchen abt 5 yrs ago. Well surely u have alredi guessed wat im talking abt...

Liverpool Are The New Champions of Europe!

Underdogs, unseeded. shows that anything is possible. n nvr to lose hope. even if ur 3-0 down at half-time against a famously impregnable defence of legendary players.

There always can be miracles. When u believe.

Anw the feeling was an uplifting one, n after the low of wednesday's defeat at the hands of Meridian JC, i was feeling high bcos of the champions' league final. and the hockey finals. oh wells.

N i still went for MJ choir. but it rocked. Congrats MJ choir! (and TKSS choir). AND of course, Marie! hahaha... great performance.. ;)

Special AnNouncement!

I'm dancing for ICS night. i think. so guys, appeal to u! come watch me!!!! hahahahaz~ I mean, have u EVER seen me dance before? especially an INDIAN dance? hahaha... gotta be fascinating. i'll do my best n try not to screw up hor...

(for tickets jus tag me, i'll try to let u noe.. tic prices are going for a very affordable price of ONLY eight dollars and zero cents. 8.00 only. Checks, Credit Cards, Nets payment not accepted.)

~.~

I jus saw some AndSS publicity thing. i think they shld call in some i-comp pple from vj to help them next time, cos i donno if it'll hv the pulling capacity. but listening to the background music (the andss school song) n watching the videos do bring me on a little ride down memory lane.
more accurately Memory St 53.

And i thought it was quite amusing - esp the part where they featured the andss badminton team (complete with its 6 shuttles per training, with altogether 4 teams, and 2-3 courts) and the caption was "with the right equipment, and best facilities." Irony. (Fe)y.

In any case, advertisments, no matter for what purpose, or what mode, rarely tell whole truths. they rarely tell whole lies either, cos duh, tt will get them into deep sh- erm... trouble. Children might be reading this.

TAlking abt reading - i'm finally reading my first fiction book of 2005. probably more accurately its first fictional book since mid-2004, but no one need noe that.

The Teenage Workbook, by Adrian Lim. Great read. though honestly i think the prequel, the Teenage TEXTbook, is marginally better.

i've worked up a training schedule for myself. soon, u'd see marine parade winning the inter-con, thanks to a "certain-point" doubles pair? heex.. dreamz... maybe i could even don nat'l colours, but perhaps thats reli hoping too far. but one thing i can realistically hope for is -

probably a body I, for one, can be proud of.

which, knowing me, even if i had, i wld conceal from view. hahaha....

oh and i forgot fitness. NAPFA 30pts. coming soon. muahahaah... SAFSA team, coming soon. yeah right...

ANd i hv to mug super hard. sumhow i'm determined on the much hoped for - perfect score. not exactly 100% in everything kinda perfect score. more like the 4As, 2 distincition, A1 for GP kinda perfect score. If liverpool can win the Champions' League, i can score that score.

Wait liverpool DID win the Champions' League right? *pinch me...*

but anw, Cheers to VJ. Cheers to Liverpool.

When you walk through a storm hold your head up high

And don't be afraid of the dark.

At the end of a storm is a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of a lark.

Walk on through the wind,

Walk on through the rain,

Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone,

You'll never, ever walk alone.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone,

You'll never, ever walk alone.

Finals

Its coincidence when two finals in which u have vested interests occur on the same day. 'A' division soccer finals, as well as Champions' League Finals. Is it an omen that VJ lost? :'(. so sad..

If Liverpool lose, i really probably wont even feel like getting out of bed. If Liverpool win, perhaps there is truth to the saying that every cloud has a silver lining...

Hai..

Good luck liverpool. Good luck me.

cant talk abt the soccer final. too upsetting.

Why, VJ?

HecTic Day

Title says enough.. i actually wanted to watch "revenge of the sith" today. Instead i watched "revenge of the sloth". sorta.. fell asleep in the library. knocked-out-cold. so ultimately missed out on the opportunity to watch that star wars episode III. well, i still wait in earnest. perhaps tmr is a sunshinier day.

ms wong let us off early today. very early. so i met sum1 whu nvr shares a break with us. quite a shocker, but, well, think abt this.

Assuming X has an affinity for Y. but $ no interval : X u Y " t. Then X u Y cannot exist. oh well....

procastination is a powerful inhibitor to work. duh. n im overwhelmed by the spirit of procastination. why?

1. Holidays coming soon
2. Can study during holidays. (yeah right...)
3. Can sense the coming of half days and/or full days.
4. So can teachers.
5. The onli two normal tutorials today were not really serious, i think.
6. GP is not normal, and its not a tutorial. cos the defn of tutorial is where we learn, not where we sleep.
7. Backlash was on monday, so i slept at 2am, and im still tired.
8. The prospect of work is demoralising.
9. Physics syllabus is complete.
10. Ten reasons are good enough an explanation

so due the the joyous spirit of procastination, here i am, bloggin my life away.

on that note, i think i hvnt made a clear impact in VJ. question of course, is if there is a reason to? leave a mark on VJ, not similar to the ball-mark i left at st gabs...

~innocent eyes~

What are the stuff legends are made of?

I'm always torn between two minds - one to show all my cards, accolades, stuff that could impress; n the other to hide those very things till someone chances upon them by themselves. but i doubt i need hide these stuff from my closest friends? or myself for that matter. that last statement, by the way, suggests i actually forget a lot of stuff i might hv achieved. weird... anw, i always look to the future, n i think tts the best policy. no point dwelling in the past unless u hv a way of making that stay.

I've learnt smthg abt myself. i.e. the way i study. its so erm... mathematically rhythmic. i jus subconsciously formulate patterns that have to be followed, n then use these patterns to reformulate new patterns, n thus hv an artillery of patterns that can be applied to solving problems. which would explain why i cant learn too many languages at the same time.

i do hv a tendency of mixing these patterns.
in maths its okay,
in language, i neednt say.
its great with music though,
it creates a natural flow.

i hate lit.

okay i ought to go already.

~May the Force be with You.~

Grandmaster Mace Windoo

Worked Up

Well, its been an eventful few days.. cos its been a long weekend. with loads of concerts to go for. namely aj co n band on sunday, and vj harmonica on saturday, so its been a weekend without much rest honestly.

until i napped away this afternoon, that is.

but workwise, its piling. namely statistics. stastically speaking, on the average, im behind in two different subjects, ahead in one (not anymore though) and barely making it in the other. loads of work to do. n i thought i had three days to do it. methinks that time has been slightly shortened now. by a factor of around 24. 3 hrs.

maybe im exaggerating. perhaps its a factor of 12, to 6hrs, which wld be perhaps the time to i slp. but of course, each minute i sit here blogging, that factor just rises. yup still rising.

oh anw, i don feel like doing anthg now honestly. mb i'll get the inspiration soon. i can after all, call up inspiration if i reli need it. though its sort of wasting my 'force energy'. hahaha...

im watching episode III on wednesday. or tuesday. today wanted to go, but i think a little too ex. i mean, nowadays its reli not worth gg to cinema and watching movies... wonder how rising ticket prices will hinder movie piracy. like MnO2 hinders hydrogen peroxide's decomposition.

a little chemistry goes a long way...

everybody noes that.

~.~

The 16PF report is confidential. otherwise i'd hv loads more to blog about.

But its okay for MY report rite? haha.. i think it was pretty accurate. n i always knew 90% of the things. i think the stuff i scored highest in, theyre quite negative. eg. apprehension, tension.

i.e. im a nervous wreck.

u think so?

i think so. whu noes, i might end up a dumber version of john nash.

i doubt.

but tt doesnt mean that i still wont end up schizo like him. =D. haha...

they showed "A BEAUTIFUL MIND" on sunday. too bad i didnt catch it. watching sum china opera music. no comment.

but i still admire those guys. i cld nvr play as well as that. so congrats chunmin n jz! great job. esp jz and his onstage antics.

for those who didnt buy tics from him, too bad. i shant elaborate.

FA Cup Finals.

For those who dont know, Arsenal won the FA Cup. or rather Jens Lehmann did. so much as i despise Man Utd, i can feel a note of compassion for its supporters. they deserved to win. My dad's always willed to call ManUtd undeserving, but unfortunately nvr got to. So the FA Cup final is an eye-opener.

ManUtd are Undeserving, Losers.

haha... i've always wanted to call ManUtd losers too..

Of course i wldnt say tt if ManUtd had lost to my Liverpool in the final. In tt case, it wld be tt Liverpool had managed to hold ManUtd at bay, n den performed when it mattered. haha..

Anw, talking abt Liverpool, Champions League Final soon. Liverpool v. ACMilan. exciting.

Okay now time to go study. Really late. i think the jus-now-the-mentioned factor is now 24. its already 9pm. dratz...

P.S. i hvnt been blogging all this time, i was reading abt the pilot pen cup this year. quite n interesting read.

okay ciaoz...

Seduction by the Dark Side

This is not a scenario peculiar to anakin skywalker. in my opinion it applies to many of us. let me explain.

Firstly let me point out that the Star Wars series has many more lessons and meanings and connections to the real world that it cares to reveal. the other connections, i shall not refer to here, or else perhaps there would be to omuch to blog here.

After all, i hvnt blogged in ageees. n so much stuff to write.

anw, as i was saying:
i think the "good" or "right" thing to do ALWAYS seems boring. there often is this tendency to LIKE to do the "wrong" thing. i liken this to anakin's addiction to the darkside. n jus as he continued to be glad abusing the power, n being a dark jedi, most of us continue to do the wrong thing, because its fun, n seems much more fullfilling.

But, as ani found out in the end, pls cover ur ears, whuever hasnt watched episode VI, or rather skip this paragraph...

- ani discovered finally that the good side alway IS, after all, more fullfilling. n aptly threw sum idiot down the chute.

anw, the pt is, sooner or later, we shld relise that wat seems fullfilling often is not. n vice-versa.

weird perception? haha.. okay. whatever...

anw, finally today i got to play soccer, yayness. cos season over ma.. n now its a long weekend, so can rest... n i scored quite a no. of goals, n scoring goals is a nice feeling. bah, jus now had so much to say... soon write again la.. haa ciaozz..

Friday 13th

Normally im superstitious, honestly. but this friday 13 wasnt too bad. in fact, it was quite a good friday the 13th.

random point: we started mechanics chapter 13 today.

anw, more on todays events later. cos i hvnt blogged in a week, n it seems so much longer than that, cos there seems to have been so many things happening this week.

well for one, it was tournament week, n vj crashed out at the expense of CJC. well, not unexpected lar, but disappointing. probably more disappointing for MJ though, cos even though they got the pleasure of thrashing us 5-0 afterwards, we dragged them out with us. n they've got a good team.

anw, i played singles against mj. n rumour has it the guy i played with actually slightly frightened quite a good player before me. so not much shame. i dont think i can ask for more, except for the honour of not being given under-5 in both sets (it was 15-4, 15-4) but okay lar.
note: i havent played a singles match in competition since sec 1. n then it was pretty much play play one.

on a brighter note, im free from badminton commitments already, and im ready to embrace it as a game rather than a sport. willingly.

today i realised that if i go on a scholarship, i hv no control over what i become in my future, even though i probably hv control over what company i would work for, or what course i'll take in Uni. meaning, i could study engineering for 5 years, onli to undertake a profession that doesnt have ANYTHING to do with engineering.

having second thoughts abt even trying for a scholarship.

oh i got interesting programmes on my com already, can design websites! namely gps website. if colin djpang doesnt manage to complete his, i mean.

missed a lot of lessons this past few weeks. must catch up.

okay so finally on to today!
AndSS had a holiday today because of various achievements. congrats to all andersonians. so that left my fave niece joy joy bored at home. haha... so i made the poor girl come all the way down to parkway parade (sorry!) and jalan-jalan. walk-walk. not to mention eat, duh. i skipped half of physics S, cos well,

• a) i couldnt understand anythg
• b) i was too tired and lazy to understand anythg
• c) hadnt really planned to even attend the lecture.

anw i went till 3pm. so more than half of the lecture.

i made joyjoy a bad girl. brought her to a POOL place. haha... classic. well, everyone has to hv that experience, rite? den went all the way back to bishan, where i was engulfed by the omnipresent Rafflesian atmosphere. smthg like that victorian atmosphere you might experience in Marine Parade, or Parkway for that matter.

Anw i had fun throwing cynical glances at innocent passing-by rafflesians, jus for fun of it. of course they didnt see la. i guess seeing rafflesians is a rarity, esp since i chose not to go to that sch, (altho its now 10mins away from home, drats).

Its friendly rivalry i guess, nothing more. and i saw a few scholar-friends of joy's. u might hv thought i hv had enough of scholars, being in a typical scholar class, but m'sian scholars
(except YTH) count as singaporeans. haha... anywayz joy went out with one of them, jingzhi (not ngiam) n lived happily ever after. as far as i noe la. haha...

Overall Friday 13th turned out to be quite fun. n its even more pleasant knowing that well.

I can sleep in Tomorrow!!!!

no badminton u see. haha... n no pe. haha...

Badminton. and MORE Badminton. And a little soccer & basketball too.

It was a reli amusing training today. i spent longer time playing basketball n soccer n running arnd in the basketball court than i did playing badminton. and all this during the badminton training itself. well at least its some way of spending my time, instead of sleeping on the floor or stage, or staring blankly into space, or watching pple play (already saturated with what i can already learn from them...)

But seriously, for the sake of VJ, im glad lar.. its more impt the 'key' players are trained. n even more impt that they perform, especially since we share the worst luck among the four schools that are below RJ in our group.

Meridian, Catholic, HwaChong and Victoria.

Common? in the sense tt we're all below RJ in that group. definitely by right MJ is the strongest. But they lost to CJ. its reli scary when the so-termed 3rd place team (MJ) can fight to 2-3 with RJ.

And even HCI, despite being prolly the bottom in the group, (after they lost to VJ so unluckily), prolly will qualify for the quarters if they had had the slight bit of luck NOT to be drawn in our group. i.e. by my seeding at least, schs tt shld be seeded 1,4,5,6,7 form one group. luck of the draw i guess...

or severe lack of it.

Anw, we beat HCI by the narrowest of margins, tho perhaps it shld hv been wider. we lost 2 matches we shld hv won, and won 1 we shld hv lost. odd. tt reli nvr happened back in andss. but then, i think it was a tad less competitive.

enough abt badminton lar. my tournament n involvement in badminton, at least for this year, is quite likely to end soon.
tho i hope not...

okay i thik i shld sleep already

tmr got badminton (fun) early on.. heex

ciaoz~~

Finally

I'm back here blogging again.
Why did i miss last week?

• (a) I met up with friends more often than not and got to talk alot such that didnt hv much to blog about.
• (b) Com was down.

Haha... okay anw...

Yesterday was VJC sports day, lest you guys dont know yet. and yes, again i subject myself to that self-realisation of my inferiority in some aspects. well, yeah. i cant run, i cant dance, i cant cheer, etc... so yeah its normally quite a time-wasting, life-shortening, frustration-building experience. and it kinda started out that way.

Anw, i was nicely dozing off in the top tier, row Z, as some may call it, when some peggie house caps came to chase me off the stands and onto the track. why? for some 20x100 "NOVELTY" relay. they couldnt find enough pple apparently.

OF course i was reluctant. i mean. novelty relay nvr meant u were any good. in fact last year i could hv thanked the pe dept for not "allowing" me to run cos i was a college rep. anw, this year i had no such luck. no stipulations barring me from participating. unless of course i had run in any previous individual event. duh no.

but out of loyalty to my Purple Pegasus Army, i joined the race. well, not too bad lar. for a novelty race, there were a no. of trackers n relatively known runners among the runners. so i didnt feel that mediocre. haha.

mediocrity is the villain.

Anw, i got the baton n cheong as fast as i can, so much so i think perhaps some feared my legs might break at any time. i doubt. badminton player noe? hahahaha... i wouldnt noe lar, but apparently i gained ground on opponents.. woohoo, though i still wld attribute the 2nd place finish (yup u heard rite! wooohooo!) to some runners among they guys and also the girls, prob stacy n florence from wat i heard from the stands. congrats pple!

n for my 15-16s participation in that race, i got a medal! yay! another novelty medal to add to my growing collection. but this one's sweet lar, cos its prolly the last i'd ever get.

~.~

okay, i've given up badminton. conc on perhaps what im reli good at i guess- maths. bleh, or i hv to subject myself to the knowledge that i'll be rooted in mediocrity as far as badminton is concerned for the rest of my life. not that i hate the sport. its still one of my greatest loves. but mr wong apparently "doubts" im vj-badminton-team std. *%^&. last two weeks lar. i'll cheer on. no doubt. i guess perhaps, enthusiasm is all im good for.
one final challenge set by colin, one final defeat for me. monday. my final game in 'competitive' badminton.

~.~

I relise smthg. no way i miss andss. i jus miss the pple there - the students and most of the teachers. u guys are probably the best pple i've met. then there's vj pple. this is a generalisation, it doesnt apply to EVERYBODY. But its so difficult to make friends in vj cos so many pple are so two-faced man. n im already fed up of quite a no. of pple. prolly i'll start avoiding them. its better for my heart.

prolly if u were to try to guess who im trying to avoid, u wld get it wrong. cos i don mind pple who r perpetually bstrds. unless of course they're overdose it. or dose it disrespectfully. but in any case, i think i end up preferring some pple that most wld shun.

pple who r perpetually idiots are easier to understand. pple who are always good are rare. n most of them i think by now r my good friends.. =D. n they're, unless im mistaken the majority of pple who read this blog. haha... hii u guys!!!!

so bye to u other guys. dont take it too hard. loads'a other pple still like u. i hope. haha...

Anw, away from this subject.

i doubt i hurt any1, cos i think i've a fairly good idea of who comes here. even if u dont tag me. heex...

muahahaha do i hv that air of omniscience? hahahaha... joking..

n oh my goodness gracious being. i hv horrendously gathered a horrible mess in my room. my books. yikes.. full of nonsense. must clear up. n soon. cos i hv a frightening load of work for this labour day weekend.

• Mechanics - 7,8,9
• Statistics - 8,9
• Analysis - Appn Int.
• Chem - N-compounds, Polymers
• Physics - AC

Scary? i think so. cheong ah. got more energy. cos nvr go training. muahaha... okay.. gttg liao..

U-V rays. l = ??? haha..

Neverland

Peterpan's one, not MJ's; although the general concept is the same. So we all grow up. That's inevitable. And i guess over the past few days i hv "grown up". Some sort of sudden dawn of reckoning as i was lying on my bed a few nights ago. no. last night. or maybe this morning. whichever.

If truth be told, i think i really would prefer not to grow up, because its adding a lot of burden of responsibilities etc. u don't get excused for ur mistakes that easily, its not all fun and carefree. I guess thats idealism, and no one has an ideal life, unless its one completely with the Lord. well, i'd admit, thats a very happy life. and i guess i used to have it, no worries n such. but i gave it up subconsciously. n im gg to find it back. Yupz...

I've been too self-absorbed, n overly concerned with things of this world, when idealistically, nthg in this world is really joy-giving.

I'm not preaching here la, lest u might get that idea. im jus calling it as i see it. Trying to analyse why i keep becoming so miserable nowadays, when in the past i was practically so much less so. In any case i think i'm the wrong person to ask about Christianity on that high level, due to my inadequacies at self expression. I know a few articulate people with this forte. If so happens any1 might be interested lar...

Though i doubt pple wld want to give up the materialistic world we live in.

Its so weird, but self torture is quite an enjoyable experience. Paradox of life on earth i think. haha...

okay... smthg else, which i shared in another blog, but well here goes again.

Self-Pity

is a constrictor of potential. It stops us from reaching a goal that we can set, and tt we might achieve. Because we seek refuge in self pity. Its in some senses a form of escapism to say that "we can't do it, bcos we're jus unable to". But tt's not true is it?

For example in the 3rd set of a badminton game, its easier to claim we're tired, n sumhow it seems like a valid reason to 'sorta' throw the game. Me? i'm mentally weak. (tt in itself is a demonstration of how mentally weak i am. Self-pity) But here let me try to make amends. I'll try to be stronger lar...

n yayness my spa n pw r over.

so on to a lighter 'topic'

But damn am i sooo behind my tutorials. i think. maybe. there's maths stats 6,7 and mechanics 7.2 (the latter being vomit-blood standard). n i hvnt even mentioned the upcoming prospect of the Geometric Distribution which has been said to be very very very hard. ah heck.. take it in my stride lar...

Okay, any1 wanna go out n study some day? cos its so difficult to study at home lor.. in the end i think im going to hv to do all my hw in sch before i go home every night. sowmya lend me ur house if they kick me out of sch.. hahahaha... jkjk...

den go home n happy happy sleep immediately. n im not exaggerating.

Badminton. ah jus play lar. bit tired of it in my opinion. sian. i wanna learn sum new sport le..

okay lar, my hw is beckoning. so ciao~!

~ultravioletlight~

wahhhhh

now i feel like trying out a new blog design.. so i'll try lar...

today rush to finish writing, but since my vow was to write every week, so erm... see how much i can write lar..

still hungry. ate lunch too early today. cos i was bored. now dinner time... n waiting for the rest of the familie..

okay anw...

this past week has been ermmmm okay on the whole... in a studying sense, the word is "atrocious" though, cos i think i hvnt reli studied enough. i've spent my free time more so playing/ watching TV/ watching liverpool lose. ok la good enough

okay finished. times up. bye!