Post-Exam Depression?

No typo, i did say post-exam depression. is it a possible scenario? is it possible for one to actually get depressed due to the end (or rather, in my case, pseudo-end) of exams? Because i was feeling down for a long time today and a large portion of yesterday... now why?

Post exam depression could be an offshoot of boredom. Boredom due to a sudden removal of a 'purpose' in life. Maybe. Before exams, one studies (cough cough) hard so that one can get the grades, duh... but then after the exams, no reason to study anymore. is that a possible explanation?

No. Because, technically, its untrue to say we 'A' level students hv lost our cause/purpose in life - the bloody 'A' level paper is in one bloody month's time. (Its a startling revelation, isnt it?). Besides, not all of us would actually have Studied excessively due to exams right? right??

Anw, i think Post-Exam Depression, or rather, i should name it "inter-exam depression", is a result of there being too many things to do. Unfortunately, as fate should have it, these many things for us to do are inappropriate to do due to the "inter-exam" status quo.

For our exams havent truly ended. Its an illusion springing from the fact that subconsciously we know that the hard stage is over - prelims. "'A' levels is a snitch isn't it?". so.. we WANT to do stuff. but we can't. cos we know deep down, the freaking exams arent over. bah...

But then, this wld be specified as "inter-exam depression". So okay, i'm (or rather was) suffering from inter-exam depression. So does Post-Exam Depression exist?

I think it does. At least for me. But in this case, its more like.. There's sooo much to do, yet so little time to do it. And it becomes one huge mess... Like after "O' levels. That, was hectic. I even commented that post exam is more stressful than exam. True to a certain extent anw..

Anw, anybody suffering from post exam depression inter-exam depression, fret not, post post exam depression elation does exist.

anw, enough abt P.E.D.

yeah man, its not even true. more like PPED (pseudo-post-exam-depression) - still got Maths S on monday. smack in the middle of nothing. i want to go out!! please my friends, if u read this... i'm dying at home... falling steadily into the abyss of darkness, being dragged down the boulevard of broken rubber dreams..

Drama sial..

okay,

cheers~ n peace.

Hark the End is Nigh

wonder if my last entry angered any ManUtd fans.. oh well.. sorry if it did, but its jus in harmless jest. anw so much for the hype that u get a well balanced goalless draw. buh..

so far exams: physics was generally okay, prompting me to question why they make chem so hard when they make physics so (relatively) easy. those ... teachers.. hmph no fair.

anw the final stretch is here. the hardest four papers tt i'll ever sit for (i hope). in sequence:

1. Further Mathematics (Pure Maths)
2. Further Mathematics (Applied Maths)
3. Physics (Special)
4. Mathematics (Special)

oh n theres a chem MCQ sandwiched in between no.s 1 and 2. you want to eat?? (complete with hand gestures)

exam periods are so dreary. each day that passes u tell urself "jus a little to go" but its the longest "little" we ever go thru. if onli the holidays pass by as slowly as exams do. n its theres little glorious prospects after our prelims, for then comes the real papers. those flown in from cambridge. *bows in respectful awe*. sadly..

you get stressed before exam period, u get bored n lonely during exam period, n u get a rude awakening after exam period. why, then, do we need exams, when it induces such negative emotions?

argh..

good luck n try to strive on last few days. except u stupid trip science pple who hv finished, u idiots. haha.. okay..

cheers~ n peace.

Where I am procastinating..

I just woke up from a horrible dream where i was sitting for chem paper three, n the teacher's were looking at us as if they were like "those poor souls" n they actually told us that "if u cant do, dont worry, even the teachers found it hard" haiii... nightmare nightmare.

i hate exams. one more week n one more day.. jia you..

~.~

I see u year ones n non-prelim-taking pple coming up to us n asking "how's ur exam??". don lie u guys. i noe wat ur thinking. "poor dude, thank goodness i'm not him".. haha.. i was year one once too, u noe..

haha jus kidding..

anw i didnt hv many senior friends. probably one, or two, or three. most prob can count on a single hand. mainly badminton guys, n a few others la..

oh well, i hv more junior friends. *grins cheekily*.

~.~

i think its high time for a sequel to bend it like beckham. its highly outdated. probably the sequel shld be called "balloon it like beckham", or smthg like that.. the poor guy is mocked for his penalty miss(es). well, i guess its a matter of how often a play of how great a standard like beckham forgets he's playing soccer n goes into rugby.

move over johnny wilkinson.. here's...... Beckham!!..

anw, speaking of which, tmr's the match. Liverpool v. Man Utd. The one where the European Champions (hurhur) face off against the championship pretenders (hurhur). now.. who do u think i support? *whistles innocently*

oh yeah, i forgot to mention, championship pretenders and FA-cup runners-up. always second best ya?

n owen is a magpie whose feet still hvnt started talking. no goals.. poor thing. shld hv come liverpool. at least liverpool hv a midfield worth mentioning, even if their attack can be summed up with one word - "dreadful". nahhhh... i noe liverpool's attack is strong, but jus not confident. it'll be a great confidence booster if perhaps this happens?:

steven gerrard plays a cool one two with alonso

gerrard, through-ball...

rio ferdinand left in no-mans' land as djibril cisse...

cisse..

one-on-one with van der Sar..

squares it for crouch..

Crouch SCORES!!!

van der Sar helpless..

n crouch scores!! wid his FEET!!!

den on the other end, van Nistelrooy-Rooney. dangerous.

Man Utd desperate for an equaliser..

Scholes, through ball for rooney,

and Carragher with a great tackle to disposses him..

watch out!

rooney slides in two footed..

definitely a red card...

the KOP expects no less from referee XXX

and yes, he brandishes it,

wayne looney - i mean rooney -

sent off second time in two days..

and man Utd down to 10 men.

Thankfully Keano didnt play, or they'll be down to 9 by now..

Man Utd are full of deadly players. literally. they dont like u they can take u out. for example roy keane. tackled alfe inge halland a few years back wid intentions to ending his carreer. and to think i used to admire him before. yucks... (btw, he boasted abt this)

okay studying calls.

cheers~ n peace

Where There is a JC2 Massacre Week 1

Quick update on exam timetable:

Monday 12/9: Maths C Paper One

• Not too hard, but it was much harder than i had expected. But overall manageable with onli one careless mistake SO FAR that i've seen that might be worth 1-4 marks cut. depending on whether teacher is nice or nasty...

Tuesday 13/9: Chem Paper Three

• Forget Friday the Thirteenth, here's Tuesday the Thirteenth. a horrid paper set with one purpose in mind - to convince all who dare approach it that chem is not for them. i could practically hear the paper yelling at the top of its voice "drop chem, drop chem..." Think i lost minimum 50% of the marks. where does tt put me? obviously, i was in a very bad mood the rest of the day.

Wednesday 14/9: Physics Papers One and Two

• Going into this was like going into a battle after a horrendous defeat the previous day. like japan gg thru the battle after losing midway. key here was to keep calm, relax, dont think abt yesterday (chem III). i succeeded in that. redemption. at least for physics. hopefully.

Thursday 15/9: Chem Paper Two

• Felt like a waste of time, gg to school today, for two reasons. reason 1: its a half-hour paper. reason 2: chasing an A for chem is already chasing a lost cause. but went for it all the same. n yes! it wasnt as hard as paper three. hopefully on track now, looking for paper one. but there's temporary redemption, n hope exists. but i dont aim too high now.

Friday (tomorrow) 16/9: Maths Paper Two

• Mechanics, Statistics, Applied Maths. should be playing up my strengths? hopefully there'll be minimal integration (yucks!). i hope the mechanics questions wld be all right. i quite intend to do the applied maths section. hurhur.. after all, diversity is encouraged. actually must go n study the mechanics parts. i'm a bit shaky in the Maths C mechanics. Power, Projectile (so many formulae), Motion, Variable Acceleration... i think these are the harder few. but thankfully dont hv rubbish that can grow on u like SHM or Vertical Circular Motion. not yet at least. that battle will be waged on next thursday, the day i declare war on the last section on chem. right now, chem is the scariest subject anw.. hopes...

Cheers~ n peace.

Where the Swan Sings

Hear my swansong. well not really. its probably (hopefully) gg to be the last time in some time till i blog again, cos of course, my dear favouritest time of the year, prelims-time is coming up very soon - tmr.

haii n i'm so unprepared.

especially for chem. n physics too. n the blardy f-maths paper which i stardied so hard for is at the very end. buh...

oh well, hopefully i can get the required results.

anw, a random point:

i was typically disgusted by an ad i saw today. pasted up on the walls of a shopping centre (in kovan) hurhur... right in full view of everybody, there was a pic of sum naked woman. well she was covered in the extremely vital parts by fruit. (yes, fruit).

but typically, in our conservative society, nobody (especially those overly conscious of making our society more liberal) considers the feelings of the conservative pple, whom i feel still makes up a majority here. n being conservative, they dont reli speak out, do they? vicious cycle.

and then theres the issue on parents being outlawed from beating their children. i pray this nvr happens to our society, cos i truly believe, as sum1 who has been thru whacking n is thankful for that, that sparing the rod spoils the child.

of course, some say that parents promote violence yada-yada-yada. but well, if a parent beats out of love (i.e. for the better of the child) its called disciplining. effective disciplining.

i fear for the future, seeing the spoilt brats that some more-liberal countries where parents dont hv a hand in disciplining their students. its come to a stage where students are even allowed to utter vulgarities at their teachers. *raises eyebrows*.

if the teachers of past saw this they'll either laugh at the joke that is discipline or cry at the lack of it.

thankfully, currently singapore still disciplines kids to a large extent, even if that extent is being reduced, as teachers' role in disciplining kids are severely restricted by parents who tend to spoil their kids. its quite amusing that even i, as a "modern day child", wld be terrified to return home n tell my parents my teacher scolded me, for fear of getting an even bigger scolding at home. whereas kids nowadays, upon complaining to their parents, would see their teachers getting into trouble.

this is how one breeds spoilt, albeit often intelligent, brats.

so the dilemma tends to this one: intelligence, or morals... pick one.

thats enough from me n this atypical entry.. hurhur.. so..

cheers, n peace~

n to all those suffering under the burden of exams,

Good Luck~! (n sleep early)

Where Hakuna Matata lives on

IT means no worries, for the rest of your life...

*raises eyebrows till they look like theyre part of my hair*

is that a possible situation? no worries, for the rest of your life? hmm.. utopian. idealistic. how is that possible when prelims loom arnd the corner, like an ominous dark cloud loom over the mountain top, threathening that the sky will soon pour?

threats, risks, dangers exist always. worse still, they lie dead straight ahead. currently the stoopid threat that lies dead ahead is prelims. sooner on we'll find the a levels. just gets worse day by day.

n dont we ever stop to consider that, each day that passes, we grow one day closer to our death? or that the fraction of our remaining lifespan that we use up (idly) each day grows ever bigger as days go on?

anw, the trouble at hand is.. the stupid prelims. n how did i prepare for prelims today?

• i studied in the morning.
• then i was interupted for a lunch i had to go to.
• then i got sick with headache n all.
• then i played computer.
• then i played badminton outside.
• then i came inside n watched "Ghost Ship"
• then i came online.

how erm.. productive. wake me up. september is coming soon.

oh den i'm scared. dengue is rampant now. quite scared. that stoopid puny insect that causes so much trouble. why?

stupid mosquito. wonder how badly Gardens is hit...

oh the lunch was at uncledennis's place, at seletar hills. so i persuaded my dad to make a detour (a long one, at that) to see marie's house. hehe.. bo liao eh.. hehe.. anw, at the lunch itself, i was reminded that soon, i wld hv graduated from the drinkers of soft drinks n all to beer.. hurhur. few months time. there here is the much coveted booze -

ahh.. hehe... booze.

but don worry, i aint gonna become some alcoholic or what not. jus need to work my liver, as my dad would put it. too healthy, as he says, is not good.

so hakuna matata. i'm still here online even though prelims are in two days time. lak one korner la.. hurhur.. mat-on. no worries.

cheers~ n peace out.

Where There is No Worries

Where i wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

i now understand that if you get off the bed on the wrong side, u'll be in for a bad day. wait.. first let me point out. this is my room. >>

So how did i get off the wrong side of the bed? i woke up. turned upside down, n got off. so yeah.. hai..

anw, i digress.

it was a bad day... n everything just seemed to go wrong. n i was soo frustrated i actually wrote a poem in my handphone. yep. but i shant publish it here. cos well.. i neednt.

anw, granted i went to vj to buy papers. n surely enough, as things wld hv gone, the photocopy shop had jus closed, n ya. no papers. all the way down to vj for nothing? haha. no. bobbie was there, n ya.. need i say more? =D. (i knew she'd be there)

so yeah i thought good, at least things are getting better. n then it had to get worse after that. looking back i think its lucky i didnt say "things jus cant get worse" cos thankfully it didnt. now that would be desperately sad case. anw, i was soo tired.. n so when i went home.. i didnt do much any work. hai..

but fortunately, today was a better day. i managed to do TJC FM paper one, after much struggling, n scored 73% (i dunno how).. but i think its quite scary, still not stable in FM. if i can score 73% under sans-exam-stress conditions, how can i score A for the actual exam?? haii...

lemme try to do paper two later. TJ paper is jus a warm up. the actually heavy hitting wld start tmr, when i try the NJ Paper.

its quite funny reli, cos i was thinking i could do all my FM papers in one day. (stop laughing, i dunno wat i was thinking). anw, in retrospect, it IS possible. i had 4 school prelim papers, each having a paper one n paper two (so overall 8 papers). n each paper was 3 hrs long. so technically i can finish all of it in one day right? barely.. hurhur.. ya riiight.. (3hrs x 8 = 24hrs = 1 day)

so good, i can finish f-maths. oops, i jus realised i hv two more subjects to prepare for. oh welllll.. physics n chem?? oOo.. soon. soon. soon..

tomorrow never comes. you noe why? cos each time u say tmr, u are implying the time 24 hrs from the time u say it. yep. procastination.

oh well. carpe diem.

speaking of which, i'm living by a new philosophy - Hakuna Matata. yep.

i'd resent it if u claim a monkey taught me that.

it was a baboon.

n not any baboon. a CARTOON baboon.

*nods fervently*

okay. hakuna matata, no worries.

cheers~ n peace out.

Carpark thoughts...

ushnish said i sound like a neighbourhood school reject here. buh.. haha.. read my profile, i aint.

anw, wid respect to that, i could afford a little boasting right? haha.. just that an amusing thought came to me as i was walking along the carpark today.. i think the prize winners for e-maths n a-maths in most schools are often the same person.. esp one like anderson.. haha.. but my year was so weird cos two pple took the two prizes. i managed to get e-maths but failed to get a-maths. guess the difference, is geometry.. haha.. i'm quite good at that, and i'm quite interested in pursuing that later on..

see first.. hehe..

could explain my prowess in mechanics. hurhur..

anw i had such a studying fit. finished most of mechanics. n i'm gg to fire on to stats tonight. n perhaps (hopefully) finish it..

the flame of the sudden inspiration dwells in my heart. n i'm gg to vj tmr for a few reasons. one of them being to buy papers. need practice. revision is nearly done, i think. oh well..

cheongggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

the battle cry of the empire. hurhur..

okay cheers~ n peace.

September Blues

i can hear mechanics callling to me. but duh, i'm ignoring it. i'll respond to it later..

anwae, its been some time since i last wrote anything here. more events happen when ur at home than when ur in school. hurhur..

anw, i went for novena and confession on saturday.. n yup, i'm feelin much better! haha.. i donno why sum pple hv so much objections to catholic practices such as confession. its abt as good as seeing a psychologist is some ways, n its very burden-relieving in sum ways.. oh well.. guess the roman catholic church is considered by the world as outdated, especially in some issues such as contraception. bah... ridiculed we are.. but well. i'm not ashamed. i agree wid the church's stand on that..

science advances so fast. and each time it advances it creates more and more problems, opening a new pandora's box each time... and then more science n research has to be put in to compensate these problems. n the cycle perpetuates. oh well..

okay. den sunday was hai.. tiring..

i woke up soo early to go for 7am mass.. but i sang okay.. but quite weird. some of the hymns the basses has soo weird parts, n de other two veteran-bases were so well, veteran, n expert at singing the bass parts. and i was like "huh?" cos i didnt noe the parts.. anw, after the mass they taught me. still cant rmb though. till they pass me the score.

anw, then after tt i rushed for badminton. and i did a wallabies. played four games, n lost four games. its prob onli a matter of time before i play four games n lose five games =(. oh well, its a matter of playing faster i guess, n moving faster. n all.. oh well.. first priority is the prelims.

speaking of which. darn, i hear mechanics calling again. on such a tight schedule, cos i want to go out some time in these hols. =).. inspired. okay enough for now. adieu~
cheers~ n peace.

New Marital Tradition!!

I shouldnt be here. I should be studying. I am too tired.

oh well..

Anw, i was rather amused today. My parents intend to be trendsetters in terms of marital trends.. They said, assuming i get married (not an invalid assumption), that on my wedding day they will carry out a novel practice. Rather than have anything that resembles a tea-ceremony or anything like that, my parents decided to hv a "washing-off-the-hands ceremony", likened to that of Pilate washing his hands on Good Friday two millenia ago.

"I wash my hands off you, son. Now all problems and responsibilities are with your wife."

i'm not that bad am i? looks innocently sad.....

oh well...

okay this will be my shortest post. ever. cos i hv to go for choir now.

st. maximillian of smthg choir. (hey at least i got one part of it so far right?)

hehe

~.~

Boo.. i'm back. its after choir n i decided that a short post isnt a right post. hurhur.. so i'm back here, continuing this. oh anw, i've finally discovered what my choir name is - st maximilian kolbe choir. he was a martyr. yeah, can check out more.. =)

anw as of today i've completed complex numbers n vectors. wats left is eigenvalues/vectors n a little of analysis. but well, i'd hv completed it by the end of the hols.. (what hols?)

and i'm not stressed. i'm just tired. and bored. n sleepy again. oh well, short post it is then, though not THAT short.. haha.. okay..

I don't want another pretty face

I don't want just anyone to hold

I don't want my love to go to waste

I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I wanna chase

You're the one I wanna hold

I wont let another minute go to waste

I want you and your beautiful soul

- Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney

cheers~ n peace.

A Happy Teachers' Day

Normally I don't blog on consecutive days. Reason One: so that i avoid getting overly attached to the feeling of blogging so much so that i neglect my studies. Reason Two: so that whoever actually bothers reading my blog doesnt hv to dig out unread entries from underneath piles of newer entries..

Nevertheless, i'd have to make an exception to that rule - law if u must - and i'm going to blog today despite having blogged yesterday as well..

In fact, in a way, today's entry is sort of a continuation of yesterday's. i shall divide it into two parts, aptly named, of course, as part I and part II. hurhur..

PART I - Visit to Anderson Secondary

Lest you don't know yet, my study break has started. Hence, i was released of the burden of making that hour-long trip down south east as of monday. But my desire to go to school had not been quenched...

all right, you can stop laughing now, n let me continue with my story...

Anyway, i was up early, early to crash anderson n try to make it into 4.1 class room to surprise mamachong. see, this was the surprise. jus to make a weird surprise for mamachong (mrs chong) on her goodness-knows-howmanyeth teachers' day celebrations, i decide to re-become her student for a short period. joy and i conspired to give mamachong a shock, my adding an additional member to mamachong's class (ME), and allowing her to be pleasantly surprised.

With a few hiccups, i managed to ultimately make my way to 4.1 classroom. hiccup no.1 - security guard. hiccup no.2 - major chong decided to be funny n pretend i was late for schoold. hiccup no.3 - and most importantly, the anderson sec that i knew n loved has fallen apart. literally. i cant even recognise the place anymore.

ANYWAY, i manage to get to 4.1.. n here comes the biggest hiccup of all. the teachers didnt need to see their class. diaongz~!.. so mamachong was never coming.. =X..

So me n joy joy and i go to the "amphitheatre" (which is actually just the quadrangle which i knew n loved). and i sat with 4.1!!!
my posterity.
my descendents.
those great pple who carry on the great priveledge of ever donning an anderson secondary four-one class teeshirt..

yes, the four-one of 2005. (i.e. joy's class)

the concert, well, in some aspects left a lot to be desired. perhaps jus a better sound system? or definitely a better emcee.. some performances exposed the PA crew's lack of effifacy, while others jus masked it with their pure raw talent.

by this i refer to the indon scholars of sec 4 '05. there was one dude, whom joy introduced as amos... he was good with the guitar. n i told him that he was good minus one 'o'. man... i wish i could play the guitar like that. VJ guitar ensemble, ur good. but lo n behold when somebody manages to get the allocade good minus one 'o'.

he made a flawless, n picture-perfect rendition of playing the melody of a few songs... perfect with the rhythm n all.. wat the fish.... anw i went over n congratulated him on the fine perfomance. yes, yes.. bo liao.. but he deserved.. too bad he's going to NJ.. but at least not RJ... tut tut..

anw, tts just the concert lah.. the main motive of the visit was the see teachers right? n so i did.. first of course, since i was sitting with mamachong's class i managed to get her.. n she said "wah ben, finally after soo long you come back n see me right?" weird.. i come back so often~ especially last year. but well.. putting things into perspective, i nvr managed to see her when i came back. she always disappears so fast..

anw i saw mrs lim too, n had a nice long chat with her too.. she's damn high powered in the school or so it seems.. 3rd most powerful in school.. haha.. but she's a damn nice lady. i'd say its worth being blood traitor to st gabs brothers n joining andss for her.. haha..

ANW, she said if i got free time next year or whenever i can come back to relief teacher. *beams here*... how i'd love that.. hopefully can teach maths. or geog. or chem. or physics. wooohooo endless possibilities. but then... NS beckons, dammit.. haha..

but go in faster means come out faster too right? hehe..

anw, after tt i joined the RJ 4.5 '05 contingent - colin (4/4) rais, adrianus, aditya (all from RJ) and vijay n haukim from AJ. they were crapping wid mrs lawrence, who missed crapping with them.. the rest of the gang, unforunately, were overseas. ekavit, voraphan, james soekwanto.. germany, thailand, us respectively. how times change..

anw, rais was hving the time of his life being a complete bstrd, as he's professionally acclaimed to be in both RJ and andss.. n Vijay was on the verge of whacking him.. yeah, some things nvr ever change..

then we had to see cikgu asnah with the company of the indons. or else we'd look spastic attempting to converse in bahasa melayu. so we went with the indons, and hence we were allowed to just nod our heads spastically. we dont mind.

but then i had to rush off to complete my part TWO of the day - St Gab's Visit.

PART II - Visit to St Gabs

I am a blood traitor. Traitor to the name of St Gabriels. I, like so many of there other "top" students, fled the school with the marks that the school 'gave' us. i was thinking this as i walked along seeing st gabs secondary boys inundating serangoon central (tts a road btw)..

then i saw mat n beng st gabs sec boys. n it suddenly hit me. THATS the reason i nvr went there. and i saw a group getting chided by sum1 who looked like a complete stranger. (it turned out ultimately that this "stranger" happened to teach at st gabs, n had a fabulous (sarcasm) reputation in the school)

anw, enough abt st gabs sec...

i'm talking abt st gabs primary here.. my beloved school of six years, whom i hv neglected for abt that same period..

i went for two stories seeing teacher whom i noe by face. but not personally. mr tan tiong soon - the music teacher. u noe, music teachers are always known by many many pple, but they do not tend to rmb u. duh.. haha...

anw, my two targets were ms rebecca lee, n mr glenn batchelor..

i climbed floors to reach them. finally at the third (mb fourth, i cant rmb exactly) story. i see ms lee! n she practically comes out to see me n colin while her students wonder on perplexed.. but it was soo fun, (for both of us), to see her after 5 long years. i mean.. 6 yrs after u leave her class, u come back and talk with her. i gave her my phone no. but forgot to get hers back. ms lee if u read this!! wat is it?? haha.. (by some reli odd chance of fate)

then i saw mr batchelor. some ways that he talked were soo different. but then i heard his "ya" n his laugh. n yes. tts definitely mr batchelor boy.. hahaha.. n i suddenly flashed back to the time me n sarabanana were at the flagpole singing "glenn, u'll be a batchelor boy, untill the day u die..... (old song)" n he walked by. i dont think he heard me.... hahaha...

and ms lee said i was much more noisy than before. technically she said i'm less shy. same thing innit? haha..

then after that i went to play badminton again. at marine parade cc (serangoon branch) with xavier xavier n colin. yeah but i'm so tired now.. think i'll jus nod off to sleep soon.. so ciao..

cheers~ n peace.

OH yeah! HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY, TEACHERS!!!

Considerations...

For so long today blogger was refusing to let me log in. and finally i'm in now, hoping that what i write now would actually BE published. okay..

now the news that i just heard was this glaring headline that left me disturbed

"Magpies Steal Owen"

this is quite a development. bcos this means that the shearer-owen partnership is very promising. and i think i might actually end up supporting newcastle united more. Lately, i m losing my loyalty to liverpool. after all, the team that i grew up watching is practically dispatched all over other clubs throughout europe. Last remaining few, of course, are sami hyypia n jon arne riise n jamie carragher n stevie gerrard. the rest, sad to say are as foreign as any other player from any other team.

maybe i hv to adapt myself.

okay on to other stuff...

today is my first day of HOLIDAY.........

morning breaks and i am so happy cos the time is so late. i wake up late on a tuesday. damn, my watch has stopped again. i hv to get the batteries changed.. thankfully it didnt stop during yesterday's GP exam, or else i'd hv wondered where all my time went..

anw, i open up my complex book. realise that there are so many things that i do not noe abt. i read on.. chapter one. introduction. easy lah.. chapter two. graphical representation. easy also lah. chapter three. de moivre's theorem. first of the f-maths topics.. interesting. chapter four. euler's formula. erm... okayy... chapter five. roots. here i start pulling out my hair. chapter six. locus. the hardest of the maths C topics. that i think is reli fun. haha.. okay i'm done with it.

n so concludes my complex day. day after tmr plus tmr is vectors day. i want to go out n watch a movie with bobbie. i wonder if i can manage to find the time. its hard, bcos time is a precious quAntity. and tmr i'm going visiting teachers.

plus there's a lack of nice movies to watch.

anw, its going to be a bit weird gracing the steps of parry st gab's pri school after an absence of five long years. i'm running a very high bet (with myself) that none of the teachers wld remember me. its a weird feeling of foreboding or smthg.. wow..

and so i think i practically wasted a whole day away.

and last night. except last night was on the phone. no prizes for guessing who with. but i'm delighted. and i reli hv no considerations on what the future holds.

was reading my archives just now.. n i relise that i ultimately got one of my wishes. well two actually. i wanted to be free of my sense of practicallity. and voila. i am. see? i've lost all my considerations for the future. the seeds of the disappearance of my practical self was sown a few weeks (mb months) back, when i did smthg reli reli considered unpractical. oughtnt disclose this here, but yeah.

and now, i've lost all considerations for what might be considered as a bleak future. but sumhow this time i've just got faith in how it'll turn out.

=). main tujhse pyaar karta hu

haha.. okay whatever..

throughout this week i had undying temptation to blog abt some issues. but i think ultimately the fear of being persecuted for blasting powerful pple kept me from it. i jus could get into super huge trouble. anw, i might drop hints of dissatisfaction repeatedly over numerous entries. jus to satisfy myself. but dont read into it. haha..

okay.

finally, after ten hours of waiting, there are pple online to talk to
haha..

okay meaning..

cheerios~ n peace! =)

n GP sux. but its over.. haha.. =P

Variety Finally?

Bobbie told my blog is onli about two things - badminton, n studies. haha.. perhaps.. guess my life, or rather, my life that i'm showing to the world (more likely my friends) is boringggg... haha.. its interesting enough for me actually.. haha..

nevertheless, i shall follow that piece of invaluable advice, and blog abt smthg different - rugby!

u noe, i can almost hear that groan from you guys...

i onli watch rugby for the allblacks. cos i think they're cool. Any more dumb questions? especially their captain. he's HOT quite cool, his hairdo n all.. haha... anw that last game was at Carisbrook Stadium - Dunedin.

imagine my shock. DUNEDIN is finally on the map! wow... i rmb the first time i heard the name dunedin/otago. (otago is a uni in dunedin, i think, where jen goes to. yeah, hi jen.)

anw, i was like otawhat? in dunewhere? you mean these places actually exist? and now.. wow.. so cool. they're world famous!! haha.. n jen was like bragging for her getting tics to watch!! i think i'm the reason if she doesnt come back here. i'll strangle her if she does... hahaha... =).. so jealous.. haha.. anw i guess tt might hv been what some dunedin pple thought when they heard that the IOC meeting was at Singapore. (singa-where?) i dont reckon they wld ever hv watched the tiger cup, which the singapore LIONS hv won twice. (onli thailand hv won more times).

anw, back to the topic of rugby, i saw a sign that read "tana for pm". n it jus so happens that tana umaga is the captain of nz whom is so cool (read above). anw i'm going to get hair like his. haha..

n rugby is such a fun game to watch. cos its like a blend of soccer and erm.. (rugby fanatics dont kill me here) wrestling.. i mean.. haha.. seriously its quite funny. i saw pple jus getting into a punch up from a scrum. and they werent sent off??!!?!?!?!

well at least they WERE chided, unlike in some other sports i've heard off from keegan.. =D.

anw, the carisbrook curse lives on. south africa are STILL yet to win at dunedin after 84 yrs of trying. and this is bcos of a last minute (sumwhere there lah) try by nz.. woohoo! i guess the allblacks are now my adopted rugby team, as england is in soccer.

~.~

Anw, moving on.. i went for my first choir practice yesterday. yeah i'm such a newbie i dont even know the name of the choir.. haha.. all i noe its a saint smthg of smthg choir. oh well, lets call it the sunday 7am choir.!Wait!. 7am! omg.. i hv to wake up so early on sundays now.. oh wells.. a small sacrifice for the Lord..

oh i'm in bass.. n its like so confusing to be singing smthg completely different from what the others are singing =X.. but i guess i'll soon get very used to it.. haha.. at least i'm not a lone voice singing a different tune.. haha.. and colin joined tenor.. but i think we can jus switch depending on who got the sore throat.. haha.. (well, he was in bass as of last week, till i came in)

~.~

okay on to a more common topic of my blabbering, badminton. i finally feel the power. its back. (or mb its jus the racquet that says "extra power") haha. noo. racquets bullsh*t. once the racquet price goes above $80, they're all the same.. haha.. unless ur super pro lah.. haha..

-but anyone can tell the difference between a 3-for-ten-dollar and a $80 racquet-

anw, i'm looking forward to playing badminton tmr, even though its probably a case of 'after playing tmr, i'll lose all the motivation of playing badminton for another few months'... hmm. okay lets not be so negative.

pple, be positive. GP prelims are still 36 hours away. i shant bother my overworked brain-that-wants-to-go-on-strike with the calculations i minutes and seconds.. do the math yourself.

36 hrs are is a long time. four and a half nights of sleep. 24 trips to and from VJ. 39 billion kilometers travelled by light. (so much for resting my brain)...

so ultimately i still speak of the taboo badminton and GP prelims. its fate.

cheers~ n peace.

General (Paper) Rants

I'm reminded of my need to speak/blog with proficient engrish English by the countdown that keeps reminding me that there are five days to the GP prelim exam. pardon this interjection. SHIT!. five whole days?? meaning a hundred and twenty hours? (actually less) meaning 720 minutes? meaning 43200 seconds? wait let me check the last one... yep its correct... now that we've gotten that settled, lets actively criticise GP.

firstly, GP sux. agreed? agreed. its not the fact that one I cant score in it. its the fact that its so dull? isn't it? it cant be just my teacher... urf.. maybe its just the monotonous drone that drives me to sleep? but he doesnt hv a monotonous drone! not that he has the liveliest voice on the planet... but maybe i just cant muster up enough motivation to even try to do well for GP. or maybe there's some part of me that thinks its already too late. "lets jus settle for that C5 you were condemned to get right from the start" n then take the verbal SATs and laugh at the system, hopefully..

point to note: i can do verbal SATs.. not fantastically well like 1600/2400, but definitely better than i do GP.

and another thing... i keep hearing this phrase - "GP-specific topics". now take note that GP stands for GENERAL paper. so let me say that phrase again in full: GENERAL paper- SPECIFIC. maybe one needs to consider the context of where i hear this phrase. "link the question to GENERAL paper SPECIFIC topics."

maybe its just a misconception on my part that i believed General Paper tested General Knowledge, or rather, the General Application of knowledge. oh well...

another point to note: General X Specific.

overall, no matter how much i drone on and on about it, i think there's no preventing the fact that i'm ultimately going to take the GP prelims very soon. without any clue on how the teachers want an essay to be presented. is it supposed to be convincing? perhaps a debate-style essay that shows balance? or perhaps a speech-style essay that attempts to persuade the masses to believe what you say? how about the PM's National Day Rally quoted verbatim?

its bad enough not knowing how to study a subject (if need arises), but not even knowing what the markers WANT to hear is.. well.. plain sad.

and are we allowed to think away from the norm? can we suggest that communism might have SOME good points? or that hitler might have had SOME good characteristics?

and what is balance? suggesting the alternate views? (only to get them refuted for being biased or provocative?) "the Cambridge markers wont want to see that you're expressing your own views such a tone in your writing"

of course i understand. dont say "white pple this, white pple that.." thats jus plain dumb. if u want to say that, write it in chinese or malay or tamil or smthg... arf..

i know how to score now. i'm going to rattle of kancy's views.. not mine. mine fail, n he's the knowledgable one. knowledgeable since he noes what the cambridge VJ markers want to see... all the same, He said to mug up kaleidoscope, (and/or k-online), so i shall. may not go school tmr for that sake. GP is of utmost importance... after monday, i'm going to mug all the other four subjects.

and to continue my study plan, after i'm done with screwing up my prelims, i'll cheong my s-papers. i noe prelims got s-papers, but i guess its a bit late to cheong for them now.. haha.. esp maths, which i hvnt done at all. must rely on my *cough*cough* maths 'o' background.. haha.. lets just see how far it pulls me through. i think my mentality's changed loads since the past... i wonder why.

i'm jus not as relaxed when i'm taking my papers. hv to work on that. i will survive. n score.

anw, i'm so sleepy today that i *cough*cough* - mb i'm getting sick a bit - may not be going to sch tmr lah.. lazy sick lah...

okay.. cheers~ n peace...

Of the Badminton-Court n Eraser-Ring

For those who dont already know, i.e. the majority of you, the world badminton championships are going on right now... and there's been some interesting happenings, that lead to reli enticing prospects for the final tmr morning (this evening, american time)...

First, Ladies Singles.

once more, old rivalries resume between the China No.1 and the China No.2 (i.e. world no. 1 and 2). XieXinfang (MrsLin) vs. ZhangNing. lets see if the couple that makes two of china's best players can sweep this year's championships.. haha.. But MrsLin has to play much better than she did today... struggled against the world junior champion, hicupping greatly in the first set... oh well, i noe who i'm supporting.. can u tell? hahaha...

Next. Ladies Doubles.

oh wait, this has already been played, so the winner is known. oh well.. haha... i think its china. again. hehe.. don reli watch ladies doubles honestly, nor do i try to pick the winner.. hehe.. always some dynamic duo from the PRC... oh well.. hehe..

Next. Mixed Doubles...

the first of indonesia-china battles.. natsir v. some chinese pair i've nvr seen before.. shld be interesting if mixed doubles actually goes to indonesia... boleh!

now the reli interesting battles...

Mens singles is a repeat of the singapore open semi-final n jarum open semi-final, n its a dream final between the two pple many pple wld consider to be the best in the world.. LinDan vs. Taufik Hidayat (i.e. the next indon-china battle). Part Two. or rather three if u want to be fussy lah... reli enticing prospect. the Dragon (LinDan) will be hoping to leap well clear of the chasing pack in the world rankings with this victory at the World C'ships.. all the way dragon-up... haha... (see, i'm not biased against china in anyway, in case u got that impression)

ahh the climax - the men's doubles...

its like smthg straight out of WWE... except in this case, it wasnt fixed to happen..

this whole event is being held in USA, n USA hasnt seen a great badminton player in a very long time, perhaps even since the great dave freeman... and, at this year's championships, held at Anaheim, L.A., they've got a mens doubles team into the finals.. fairytale? haha.. u decide..

here's where the twist lies.. one of the 'americans' was once an indonesian doubles pair, partnering candra wijaya... n now, lo-n-behold, their opponents on finals day is, who else, but candra wijaya and sigit budiarto... haha... old partners. clash again..

CandraWijaya/SigitBudiarto vs. TonyGunawan/HowardBach

mouth-watering. two great matches.. tmr morning singapore time...

~.~

now i'm getting a scolding for forfeiting my studies.. dammit.. haha.. okay i better embrace this admonishing as a guidance to the path of my dream. haha.. thankyou bobbie.. haaha..

wait a while..

colin's (my brother) confirmation party was yesterday, n its the first party we hv hosted at our place since.. erm.. since erm... mb it a christmas party? but it was definitely last millenium.. haha.. tt sounds so long ago doesnt it? haha...

n as usual, the younger cousins, yes me included, joined in a game of bridge. we hv definitely upgraded to bridge from toy cars n action figures, i think.. haha.. definitely.. then the two reli younger cousins, timothy n anthony, came in, n of course, they're too little to play bridge. so we changed to twenty-eight (tts smthg like indian bridge if u want to call it that). the younger ones cld play this game, so we played one round of it..

but of course it got boring after a while, so we played.... ERASER-BATTLES!!! woohooo!!! brings me back to St. Gabs where we used to play like everyday! Can u guys rmb eraser battles? u noe, the one with country erasers? shld revitalise the game in JCs... haha.. could last for some time.. hehe.. mb the m'sian scholars donno abt it? i doubt though.. haha.. i wanna bring my erasers to school! haha.. but no gambling. strictly.. haha...

will be quite loony to see a bunch of JC 2 students flicking erasers arnd to try to get ontop of the other.. haha.. loony.. think abt it.. haha..

and of course, due to my vast experience in the game, i emerged as champion! yeah-yeah.. who da man? haha... my Pakistan-eraser! haha...

p.s. eraser battles is the game where u flick erasers on top of each other to win. yes. THAT game..

okay. cheers~ n peace.

Lies N Deceit

how to lie?

its such a powerful tool, yet i hvnt mastered it. i can act, granted (not too well of course). but i cant lie. it isnt a "dark art" is it? so to speak.. definitely not, when it can do so much good...

nvr believed in lying. but the tide of circumstance has changed. probably a lie wld be the last resort. as always... when the truth has such dire consequences. but well, i think it'll work. a wellplaced lie is often more believable than the truth. case study: hitler. well placed lies much more believable than truths.

note: i do not condone what he did, or how he went abt doing it. i'm jus saying he was a liar. an effective one at that too...

but in all senses, let's hv faith in the will of God. sumhow, everythings already predetermined by Him, n He noes wat we'll choose to do before we even choose to do it. some sort of a collapse of the four known dimensions, perhaps? we'll nvr noe till we die anw...

~.~

In any case, i think prelims are like..

NINE

days away.

help!. i hate GP. SIHATEGPIHATEGPIHATEGPIHATEGP....

no.

SIHATEGPIHATEGPIHATEGPIHATEGP....

we have to get that preconceived notion out of our heads before we can score. i mean I. i donno if u all hv that kind of inbuilt sentiments. but i jus cant score for GP! :'(. sadd... then i'll look like i'll get a mugger's score - AAAAC5? n tts assuming i get 4As lah.. haiiiiiiii...

arf...

okay lemme go do some GP work. haha..

cheers~ n peace.

n keep praying....

not a mugger but not yet a slacker...

I stardie too much until my eyes is paining. haiii...

technically, i dont study THAT much. but some pple still INSIST on calling me muggerish. man... but i dont mind that stereotype. guess those pple who call me muggerish dont read this blog (where i mindlessly waste my life away) or chat with me online. hurhur..

so let me give thee a (startling) revelation - most of my studying is done in school. at home is sleep, eat, perhapssss a biiiiittt of work, go online, blog, chat, so on n so forth..

anw, i hv interesting news. here goes...

i hv FINALLY, after 10 long years, drunk a cup of ambition. i finally hv a life goal to work towards. n i wld thank this to the inspiration offered by a maths professor at nus, profhelmeraslaksen.. ok.. dont laugh - i want to be a maths professor. hahaha... not the mad sort. i want to teach maths to interested pple. but then, come to think of it, i onli noe one local maths prof, n he's erm... haha... no comment. hehe.. i forgot his name.. hurhur...

he's damn smart though..

n i hv been pondering over stupid De's blardy summation 1/r^2 = pi-square/6 question. yucks... but it seems to be a great way to noe how much you know. or rather, how little. yikes..

anybody can prove it? repeat question.

prove: summation(1/r^2) = (pi^2)/6

tag it!

bah.. he was being an idiot posing it to me during maths lecture - i missed paying attention completely, being too engrossed in that blardy question. bahbah....

oh well... aniwaez i wanted to go blog yesterday, but due to some unforeseen circumstances, i reached home late (20mins late for church, but tts bcos of that huge traffic jam along s'gardens way) damn..

but fernando was later - 40mins late. but excusable - he thought it started at 8.30.

anw, yesterday was the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary to heaven. the BVM was assumed body n soul into heaven cos the Lord wouldnt allow decay to touch her.

wonder if its ever possible for any human like u or i to enjoy such a priveledge.

oh, and if anybody has any rebuttals, or negative comments tt u'd like to share here abt the above two paragraphs,... dont. u hv ur own blogs... any questions, i'd entertain personally, though.

n i hv jus realised that marine parade- amber road region is saturated with indians. man... soo many of them... shocker. n these arent the yishun-type indians (no offense meant to any). though i still dont know which type i prefer....

okay i better stop. guess i hv to do SOME work before that usual sopophoric feeling overwhelms me. n there's GP tmr. i will score for GP. i will do kancy proud. i will do 34 proud. i will do anderson proud.

yeah right...

okay.

cheers~ n peace.

Op Amp

Wahh soo much has transpired during the past few days. i think i cant put it all down in a blog. haha.. in any case sum stuff shld be considered too personal to be put in a blog - i think i'll start keeping a diary. haha...

s00 where shld i starT? lets jus say thursday (yet again) wld be a day i wont forget for some time.. haha.. nvr had soo many mood swings or violent ones like that. anw, the ultimate swing was an upward one. a very violent upward one.. =) so me stuck on this high note for some time.. wait till it abate then i can start studying reali seriously. haha.. muz thank mia n joy, n of course bobby. hehex~

or vibha, whichever. i think bobby is cuter a name anw..

okay today (friday) was four-one class gathering. man.. almost the WHOLE class (except the usual absentees n a few more who had unavoidable circumstances) were there. act quite surprising, the turn out. and i almost forgot how bhayi tauhid nizar used to be. well suitable reminder. haha.. n jasdeep's beard i covet. hhaha.. just how he can avoid MJ's TanYH still puzzles me.. oh well. VJ's version is upgraded, n very difficult to run from. haha..

n playing bridge again after such a long time.. well sorta- college day was my last time i think.. haha.. long enough.

den too late to go coffeeshop drink coffee n whaever else (haha.. no mention of what). but well so it was back to home. at 1130 which is actually quite early. but damn i'm hungry lah.. n i hv no food at home except jelly. =X..

aiyoh i think i shld sleep on the empty stomache of mine, n then wake up to a sumtious (hopefully) breakfast. oh crap. i just relised - i'm veg tmr. (cos today i wasnt). at least partially veg lah.. hehe.. hope i rmb. haha..

aiyah so much work to do. n i think my mind is slowly but steadily coming back. though every now n then it goes bouncing up n down.

i vow to complete my tutorials this weekend. all of them. yup. lets go..

haha..

cheers~ n peace. n goodnight...

from red to blue

first, i hv to apologise to bobby for causing her to lose out on studying time despite her having a test tmr. sorry!. den i hv to apologise to myself for wasting this whole holiday away wid gps, gg out, n sleep. it was SUPPOSED to be the-holiday-where-i-finish-all-my-tutorials. man... still got loads more. perhaps i'll try to finish as much as possible here on.. n then leave the rest for sunday.

hurhur...

GPs was like.. ermmm... okayyyy.. woke up way too late.. n then slacked over to school. wonder why actually. oh well.. anw, i've got some reli good/cute/interesting ideas for advertisement. haha.. i'll put up some ads on this site perhaps.. hehex...

mebbe...

den after the meeting went out to swensens! yippee.. $4 deal! woohooo!! yummie cookie summit. i miss swensens. i must come back again. i must i must i must!! s34 want outing??

haha who'm i kidding.. hehex.. how abt badminton guys? hurhur...

later arrange..

but i had fun roaming parkway wid bobby.. haha..

oh but smthg was reli disturbing tt i saw today.

to all associated dubiousness, the da vinci code IS a work of fiction. it says so on the fine print at the side of the book - go check. n fiction = untruths tt u read for the fun of it. Christ did NOT have a wife. nor a daughter.. urgh.. after A level's i'll publish a blog, for whoever is curious, detailing church history from as far as my dad reached. (its my dad's work).

note: technically this is not evangelising, jus clarifying untruths that some might tend to believe.

aside from that, i think the day was quite great. hehe... pity i had to leave to study. but of course. studying is impt too. we wonder why, but yea.. i hv to focus on work right now.. though i think my mind is as far as possible away from studying now.

HELLO MR PRACTICAL?? where are u??

darn...

~.~

explanation: practicality is seldom fun. bland, in fact. impracticality often opens your eyes to a myriad of colours n diversity that wld then be easily appreciable.

anw, i'll take things as they are - i'm content. well, anymore and i'd jeopardize my dreams... they say to live a balanced life. but... life n success are practically complement sets... u cant fulfill both at the same time...

oh wells...

anw as red fades to blue, national day fades to post national day blues... n the biochem test beckons... but i hv no intention of muggin for it. sick of mugging.

anw, g'luck to me for the test.. n to bobby for her bio test. which is kinda on the same topic, except of course, hers is in BIO. yucks.. anw she's good at bio, unlike me.. eurgh...

~.~

but overall, i'm happie today. hehex...

~.~

so cheers~ n peace.

Happy National Day

National

Day

Yeah Singapore turns 40 today. happy birthday... let me begin a patriotic speech. ahem ahem..

(those who want to skip this speech, n get to action, jus skip the red parts)

yep, many pple complain loads abt singapore - you cant open ur mouth without getting thrown in jail, they say. (m i risking anything jus pointing this out? i hope not). anw, there r loads of things tt singaporeans complain abt. ya true, some of these bad stuff is true. but...

they say to see the light one must first see the dark. precisely. singaporeans are born in an environment such that they experience minimal crime, racial harmony, religious freedom etc. how many countries ACTUALLY can claim to have these. even smthg as simple as religious n racial harmony? superpowers tt the world idolises often hv this problem. in just how many secular countries (perhaps even some non-secular countries), are muslims regarded by society in general as 'normal' or even perhaps 'safe'. many countries are facing the problems that indians/muslims are being looked down by society jus bcos terrorists are of tt race/religion. but in singapore, despite us not being free from terrorist attacks, muslims/indians are still regarded as brudders n friends. n no matter how long your goatee is, singaporeans r singaporeans.

Crime. i visited another country, a first world nation - i shant mention which - a few years back. i spent barely a week there. n a few blocks away someone got shot. =X. yea.. n this is actually a phenomenon quite common in many countries. so nvr take ur safe singapore for granted. its again the matter of liberty vs security. i prefer security.

even on a religious stance - though i dont reli accredit this much to the government here - singaporeans are generally religious pple. visiting a church down under, i found singapore's much more packed - n we even hv multiple masses!. wow.. n tts not even mentioning our (at least SFX's (st francis xavier's)) youth ministry.

N its not as though singapore removes all our liberties isnt it? so, so long as singapore's governance style doesnt change, i wld stick by the principle tt singapore is still a great place to grow up in. n live in...

but tt doesnt change the fact that i might consider migrating eventually. even if i acknowledge it to be for not so good a life. yep..

So tts my tribute to the nation of my birth.

Anw, today was the national day celebrations, n i finally got to dance with bobby. yay!! though i then promptly forgot all the steps of the dance. haha.. how can blame me? its been ages since i last dance that friendship dance. not for the lack of trying, but yeah...

den i mugged for 5 hrs straight n hence ended up with a huge braindead brain at the end of it. but quite appropriate la, cos i was then going for an indian cultural society party. hurhur.. anw it was soo much more disco-y n party-y than i expected - it even took place in a ballroom. =O. haha... (mb tt 'emoticon' is unclear - there may be some who might think its a phospholipid. i'm really sorry for you guys who do.. really sorry...) its a shocked face anw.

but soo noisy. oOo n they got pro deejays, n pro caterers. man... yummsie.. anw had a great time dancing - yes, cutely - n dragging bobby n mia to dance wid me.. hehex... den took photos. i'll upload it onto my fotopage (the link is at the sidebar) den u can see perhaps. hehex.. though it wasnt taken with my own cam. (forgot to bring THAT to school... dammit) haha...

.

.

.

Den time to go home - 11pm already. took bus to s'goon but i was lazy last 317 had left. so i called my parents down to come fetch me from s'goon interchange.. (no, dont think the words 'spoilt brat' cos i'm not. i'm sure u already know that) and den i come home n wanted to write n email to jen to tell her to wear red n white tmr but lazy. hmm mb i'll just write a short email. hurhur.. wid stars n crescent. hurhur

okay i want to sleep already. happy national day.

cheers~ n peace. (literally)

*some parts of this issue hv been censored from public viewing. apologies for the inconvenience caused*

About General Paper

I ask a little question - who wants to read GP essays online. lets not talk about those desperately discovering that GP actually is important, or those blissfully ignorant that it is. i'm referring to the majority of us - those who recognise that it is impt, and yet dont give a shit. well, maybe its not an actual majority, but that set definitely encompasses me. n half my class. haha..

but, for those in my category (category three), u might realise theres a 'quick n easy' way (this is the cliched advertisement line for weight loss products isnt it?) to get that one more mark that u need to get that passing mark. welcome to...

KaleidoscopeOnline. (click the space below!)

www.victoriajc.net/gps

Or perhaps you are that one kinda person, the special case who's already sitting at the pedestal watching mortals curse n swear at GP, that kind who actually gets As.. well, in that case, a more suitable website (tt wont bore you) would be...

GloPos. (click the space below!)

http://go.to/glopos

one kind la u..

anw, lets move aside from GPs work. i've practically already done my work over the past two years, n maybe its my guilt from not doing enough, or perhaps i was there longer than the teacher I/C, in any sense, i'm working to publicise glopos. n kaleidoscope online, which is my baby. haha..

glopos, of course, is jjpaulose's baby. hahaha.. i'm sure u noe HIM. if u dont, good for you. haha.. another yangtzyhhaur. except he was exceptionally talented at GP too.. imagine that..

okay, advertisements lie. its jus like the weight loss process. there's no (ethical) way of gaining those marks for GP, jus as there's no (natural) way of losing those few extra kilos. i think. if i stand corrected n whosoever thinks those remarks might cost them a few bucks might jus want to inform me, n then that sentence is easily removed.

as i was saying, theres no ethical way. of course, there's the usual change-someone-else's-paper's-to-your-name, though tts a bit hard n a bit cruel n a bit troublesome. then of course there's the teacher-want-a-cracker?-method. recommended for those who are loaded. with cash i mean. then of course, the final unethical method to score in GP is the marks-or-your-life-method. recommended for those who are loaded too. but not exactly with cash.

but pple, rmb, these methods are not encouraged. think abt your poor GP teachers. ok stop. not a good thing. hahaha..

anw, disclaimer: i think most GP teachers are quite cool n fun. i said most.

GP is just frustrating when u cant score...

N u cant score if u dont put in effort.. oh ya hor... GP's not physics. bleah.. hehex...

n even physics one must put in a certain bit of effort.

somewhat. haha.. okay i'm jus on the crapping express, n i hv to but don feel like reaching for my biochem notes n study them. blasted.. n there's a biochem test on thursday. blasted twice.

oh but consolation - happy birthday singapore. forty years old already man.. getting old arent you.. but well, difference is, u's immortal. somewhat.. haha.. okay i'm tired.

cheers~ n peace.

Solace in Science

For so long i've forgotten what a powerful tool Science is to help u lose yourself in. but today i got reminded. haha.. was doing physics, n suddenly all the tension n worry of all other matters seemed to fade away. The power of physics!.. hehex..

oh n mrkwek was soo funny... well in a way - he didnt mean it.

he was quite pissed u see, cos many pple were late for his class.. then he was impatient to start the lesson, n decided not to wait for the rest.. in a note of scarcasm n somewhat scorn, he said

"must be those that arent here must be the stronger ones tt dont need help".

at that instant, yangtzyhhaur stepped in.

how apt.

for those in blissful ignorance, lemme spoil that - yth is the guy who beat everyone for maths C, smashed everyone for physics, and massacred everyone for f-maths. yes. HIM... but he's a nice guy.. humble n all. n confirm wont come here one.. oh wait. did i type physics here? oops.. whatever it is, i just did. he might come here after all.. hahaha...

respect.

n i finished EM induction. though i still m SOO unclear abt some concepts. i'll clear them up soon.. tmr..

i found a piece of paper tt is a source of remembrance of the past. it must be destroyed. yet, i don feel like it. me's sentimental person. besides in some ways, history serves as a guide for the future. so that i'll be guided not to make the same mistakes i made once...

sumhow i think tts still not gg to stop history from repeating itself.. its jus repetitive, the pattern of this world. or rather, the patterns of my world. n its quite sad when seemingly bad things seem to jus replicate themselves like DNA.. yikes.. too much biochem.. think i'll score full marks for that test.. hurhur... tt wld be quite nice.. cos i think i noe biochem by heart ALREADY.. man... hehex.. hopefully..

though i still feel like i cant leave the education system without purposely screwing up ONE test. as in.. REALLY write rubbish. like eg if they ask

Define Lenz's Law.

i want to write:

magnetic fields are lazy. they dont like to move.

ya, essentially tts true la.. its the lay man's way - or rather more likely the kampong man's way of explaining.

yes, its also the way mrkwek summarized it for us.

~.~

anw, i sumhow feel like i'm dangling. "held up so high by such a breakable thread - avril lavigne". n i'm not talking abt dangling in the nice way eg. where u dangle from a window upside down or anything.. tt might actually be considered relaxing.

This sort of dangling is quite stressfull.. dangling between.. erm... okay enough la. not for public viewing. hahaha... R(A).

oh well, how to find solace?

Science. Physics (Yup, Hi YTH). Chem. MATHS. GP.

nope not GP. yucks...

okay

Cheers~ n peace.

OMG. It's sunday ALREADY!!! haiyohhhhh... so fast! saturday didnt even exist lor. plus i was so tired. both friday night n saturday night i stayed up sooo late (worthwhile joyful cause) chatting. hurhur.. n tt took its toll this morning. thank goodness SFX has evening mass. cos i woke up onli at 12.30 =X.

yup. missed breakfast. oh well...

but mrteo's tutorial remains undone. n i think i'll chiong it later, after going offline. which means i wont write email until next week.. write email no fun, at least now. sumhow i might be slipping off a joyful mood that was aptly sorta induced by joy. haha.. how apt. anw, circumstances hv it quite mean, but i oughtnt complain - there's always sumbody worse off than me, to whom my complaints are practically pointless. yep.

but in any case, i will resort to 'the dark side' soon i think. for the better of the future.

anywae, lemme elaborate on yesterday!...

see hor, it was suchhhhhhh an eventful day. first of all i was awoken abruptly - for careers fair. i was surprisingly content to go, i donno why. anyway, truth be told, it was quite enlightening. i think now i onli hv two choices. engineering with either pub or singpower hopefully, or join the much-idolised-by-me-and-legendary prof. helmer aslaksen. respect...

he was THERE!!! at VJC!!! and i talked to him!! omgomgomg.. its like walking straight into michael owen or smthg.. woww

the full story of how i noe him and how he came to inspire me is a bit long n perhaps doesnt warrant to be put on a blog. if u, for any absurd reason, are interested to noe this story, jus appoach me. hehex..

anw to cut that long story short - very short - i attended one of his lectures on sum astronomical science. respect...

Helmer Aslaksen

anyway, i could do an academics degree in mathematics. pure mathematics. yummie.... haha..

any case, doesnt matter much now anywayz.. work hard later. soon. fine...

then after that i had a GPS meeting (yes, fine, i'm in it alright?), so i couldnt go out. so i was happily talking with joy - she was apparently distressed. n well, i sorta can understand how she feels, and was not reli busy.. yup.. PLUS i didnt hv any msges. so talk lor.. haha

twas fun. i promised to sing praises of joy here - mb not just yet lah. haha.. its quite easy anyway. haha..

oke, den after meeting i come home right, n then i suddenly am brought into the realisation that i hv a bdae party to attend. whoopidoo. yikes.. den we get home onli at 12. and even then i chat online. haha... till 2. so THATS why i'm going for evening mass today =P.

anw, careers fair helped me decide. sorta. at least narrow down the possibilities. ambition is not my greatest gift. so i think i'll be gg for the bland engineering (mechanical, material, or electrical) course, and then become an engineer for a while. n then manager, n then hopefully happy happy till the sack me lah.. (which is eventual, seeing how easily pple get sacked/retrenched nowadays) so we's hv to be be dynamic n adaptible. maybe teaching? i donno..

or another alternative wld be to pursue an academic degree in my beloved mathematics - or mechanics - n then work as hard as possible to get as far as possible. mb masters? or, dreaming further, doctorate? well dreams lahz. it definitely wld be more fun i think. engineering sounds bland u noe..

bleh, depend on my moodswing.
hahaha

okay stats is calling me to finish her off. haha.. byez~

cheers~ n peace.

New Template

Nice? quite classic i think... sumhow. in tandem with SDD. Classic. Haha...

N i'll update whatever happened today, tomorrow. too little time right now. all de time spent changing the template cos i was reluctant to do work. bleah..

cheers~ n peace.

College DAY

Contrary to popular belief, college day - VJC's annual celebration of itself - was a great day and very fun day for those who knew how to spend it. of course, there were some smart ones in the PT, where all had to be silent and revere the Minister for Education who was the guest-of-honour. but of course, hopefully he'd nvr see what was really going down, in the hall.. hahaha...

i think a riot would hv been more peaceful. man... i saw pple playing cards, listening to music, and even playing catching. yup. playing CATCHING. or at least they were running up n down lar..

i pointed this out to some pple n they immediately assumed its IP kids. and then i came to the sudden realisation that we, the JC2 students of VJC, are the most childish people in the whole school. (of course with a few exceptions who are exceedingly mature - santosh, to name one).

bobbie, watch your drool, i think i see it spilling. hurhur...

nah i'm jus kidding.. don wanna be responsible for any nasty rumours...

Anyways, we J2s are the most immature of VJ students. n i'm proud of it. hahaha... we embrace our youth.

be proud.

okay whatever.. i was sitting at the back of the hall next to the banging door with bobbie n shariffAH n sum1 i wasnt introduced to - hmph - listening to noise.. oops sorry metal music. n chatting all away with bobbie who was half drunk i think. at least in a stupor.. hehe... and i joined in one game of bridge, with rifdi n jz, in place of some girl called... erm... lemme try to rmb.. jane? i not sure.. jus onli found out her name.. haha.

okay then they didnt hv friendship dance. EVERYTIME i find sum1 to dance with, there's no frienship dance. n everytime there is a friendship dance, i end up either dancing with a guy laughing my head off - its fun - or standing outside n watching girls dance with other girls. oh whatever..

idiot sc.

anw i forgot how to dance all the dances man.. i think next yr must come back for orientation n re learn.. hurhur.. if onli i can get pple to come back with me.. hmmm... hahaha..

or mb i'll be too lazy.

eek tmr got career fair. why? cant we all just be shepherds n tend our flocks? shepherds of men is fine too.. its our destiny.

somehow the message in church that day - tt its our destiny to join our Father in heaven at his right hand. still rings in my head. quite cool. like smthg our of Star Wars or smthg.

Fulfill your destiny and join me.

except its God talking n not the evil emperor. so we ought to join him. heex.. but well, still so few pple are actually even attempting to fulfill their destiny. oh well.. pls be good pple. hahaha..

okay tired arledi - tmr careers fair. lazy to go lah. but must
heex..

okay

cheers~ n peace.

Guess who's back~

Atchoo.. yes.. i'm reli reli sick. actually, technically i'm not sick. no fever. but tt doesnt stop me from coughing n sneezing n leaking n head-aching n stomach-aching n soo on.. n feeling as though i might hv gotten the full blast of a biological warhead.

though in reality had i been hit with that, i wouldnt be here telling the tale innit?..

jus so apt, that i've to end one week n a half of psychological psychological misery, with half a week of physical misery =(. ouch.. yes i know it hurts. but well good points are that i missed sch (temporary joy) and tt my psychological misery can take a back seat. this, hopefully permanently. though its not as bad as i thought it might be.

i went reading my archives again, to post feb last year.. n i relise i actually quoted a verse from the Bible abt trust in the Lord. perhaps, i've just failed to understand when destiny is screaming into my ear. well now, welcome back, mr practical.

Practicality is an art. bish bash what movies portray. that's not life, its script. exaggerations n lies is what they portray on films. yucks.. like we ask ourselves. "WHY does it seem so easy on screen? WHY is there always a happy ending?" and so on...

Then, i have to bring in what by brother wld say as to.. for example "how did randy orton manage to R.K.O the dead man?"

"Because Vince MacMahon said so, of course"

yes, of course.... he's the script writer.

N in our lives, there's no script writer. true God sees and knows everything, n He can control what happens. but He doesnt. (out of love).

The news Today got smthg interesting abt wat prompts terrorism. no. i dont condone it - i think its kinda dumb. but the author got some interesting insights...

bah anw...

MR Practical is back in da house...

cheers~ n peace.

busy busy...

its so weird tt sum songs jus sooo accurately portray your exact feelings n emotions. and only temporarily. few months ago,

tt song was Breakaway, by kelly clarkson.

then it became A Thousand Miles, by vanessa carlton.

Then for a short while, it went back to I'm With You, by avril lavigne.

N its settled back with kelly clarkson's Behind These Hazel Eyes. curious..

~.~

i wonder how many pple still think this blog is still at bakteesud.blogspot.com... and somehow that website still exists although all the blog entries have been transferred here. weird..

and the tagboard there is the same as this one - meaning its still active.. wicked..

~.~

Oh its a curious time to be online innit? btw its like 9.15am right now... i should be playing badminton. or i should be studying. well, i ponned badminton, no mood. n i'm not studying, no mood. moody person amnt i?
heex...

And i'm in the mood to go out! i want... anybody? didnt think so. plus i dont think i'm allowed to. bleah.. mommy surely will hv smthg to say abt that... she need onli say one word "statistics?".. oOo.. n i'll start feeling ALL guilty again.. sheesh..


did i mention? i finished mechanics.. wooohooo!!!
on my board its now written

In Memory of Mechanics... Jan-July 2005

now i wonder what i need rmb her (mechanics) for..

oh yes - she helped me pass my f-maths. yep.. ever grateful. so that sign stays..

Anw, now i must vanquish the enemy statistics. i do wish they hv a few more tests for us. my performance at statistics for the mid year is reli scary u noe.. i hope i brush up a fair bit. what went wrong for mid year - the exponential. i underestimated its sting. n the hypothesis testing. i forgot the presentation. really wrote crap innit? haha.. different story.

n i'm still wasting my time online. evading stats. eek..

ooh yes i knew i forgot smthg! i took part in some essay writing competition a few months ago, n it turns out i won second place.

pause for effect.

yet somehow i'm not proud of it, perhaps even shamed to tell pple. why? bcos i got 25/50 for GP essay. i mean.. exactly HOW subjective IS this crap??? possible explanations...

1. this was marked by more lenient pple.

2. this was marked by former vj students.

3. God helped me. (quite probable).

4. maybe i convinced some of the pple. (hopefully)

5. this had more choices abt a topic i can talk well on.

lets elaborate on the last point - topics of choice:

1. Religion
2. Religion
3. Religion
4. Religion
5. Yup u guessed it right. Religion.

Then it occured to me -

duhhhh! its the NUS Hindu society? n then, wait, i'm not hindu... woopsie..

jus occured to me: maybe i actually won smthg cos they dont wanna make it look religiousist? nah... haha.. i made no such mention of my religion. i think.. haha..

besides, maybe i'm second out of three? haha.. tt wld be reli amusing. cos i'm not sure anyway how many pple were there writing. it might even be second out of two. man...

well at least its not second out of one. hurhur.. i hope.. hehex...

okay.. i think i hear mr teo yelling. (the future i sense...) like yoda, he's good at sensing the future. its not too hard. i can sense it too. if i dont do my stats, mr teo will start yelling. oOo.. am i smart or jus strong in the Force.

jus occured to me:

it wld be reli cute if i had answered the religion question likeso:

The Force is an allpowerful energy that binds the universe together. There's two parts - the light side n the darkside. and the reason why (as the question asked) theres so much hate in the world, is because people abuse the darkside, by choice, and fail to acknowledge to power of the Force. Thus...

and so on... wonder if they'd hv given me the fourth place out of three, or fifth place out of four, whatever, if i'd written that. but its good for a erm.. laugh.. hehex..

okay stats beckons, as i said jus now.

cheers~ n peace!

The Missing Entity

Phantom, i was at school today. missed me? i doubt. haha... pays to be quiet.

But im so much more regenerated! that day of waking up at 9 did wonders. n guess what? tmr's another one of those days!! yipeee~..

n fish, if u read this, Where were u??? so upset!!!! heex... =P..

anw, doesnt matter.. much.. i'm not too perturbed. after all, its been such a great day!

n i finished mechanics 14. yep, which means, (since 15 is like sooo short, n i can do it soon), i've finished off all my mechanics tutorials by today~ yipeee! still hv to wrestle stats. tmr, ya.. n gg to meet naf tmr, after my GP remedial wid pops.. heex.. (my grandpa).

my sister's soo quiet nowadays. if onli everyday were a harry-potter-reading-day. ah what bliss.. the power of silence. tts wat that guy from GIC said - the power of silence.

when the teacher is talking. lets make it a GP teacher, so that its loads more believable. half the class is droning away. (the other half didnt even bother toshow up). and suddenly the teacher stops talking. n then the droning half suddenly gets woken up, n start to hv pretended to hear everything the teacher said. n all the teacher did was shut up. n we started to listen to what he was saying. proves one thing - give the students what they want (silence), and we'll give you what you want (attention). =P..

yep, students, stop hoping. n teachers, i'm kidding.

the power of silence.







yep.

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

kellyclarkson. behind these hazel eyes.

lovely song. yep. goodnight.

cheers~ ... n peace.

IHATEGP

I'd longed to get my hands on tt book - HBP of course - for a long time... ever since carol msged me from down under arousing my curiousity. its scary man, de book - but great read. go read!

i wont deny tt the temptation has flickered past my mind to spoil the story for those who didnt read by blabbing abt it here. *grins mischieviously*. but i'm a nice guy. hurhur.. don read the next para if u dont want to whet your appetite.

to those who hv read it, i hv one burning thing to point out. yoda, gandalf, n aslan (though prob hardly any1 wld hv heard abt the latter). similar fates. yikes.. writers are always so sadistic. the disappointment is setting in. replacing the shock. but i'm already formulating what book 7 wld be abt. see la...

okay u can start reading now.

IHATEGENERALPAPERIHATEGENERALPAPERIHATEGENERALPAPERIHATEGENER
ALPAPERIHATEGENERALPAPER...

i scribbled that all over my GP common test paper. yep u guessed it - i screwed it up realli badly. well not as badly as i could have lar, but still very disappointing. i reli ought to try to think more maturely perhaps. think i aint that mature in thought. ya wat.. me still young; still 17!!

IHATEGENERALPAPERIHATEGENERALPAPERIHATEGENERALPAPER

N its been jus a very bad day today - loads of things gone wrong - jus a tad of felix whatever pls.. at least now got reminiscing on harry potter to distract me from ALL the things that went wrong this week. my mind's been turned completely upside down.

here i dont intend to boast, pls don interpret it thus. jealousy is a feeling i dont often feel. envy? perhaps rarely. but jealously, hardly ever. i mean, i've always been jus content with my life. but now... suddenly i'm getting jealous of pple - n i hate that feeling. its wrong. tts jus one of the problems la.

another is that i'm feeling jus so useless. kancy asked us to write whatever THINGS we hv done in our JC life. i thought. n thought. n thought. n reli theres nothing worth mentioning. n it jus makes me wonder if i've jus wasted away my whole two years here - might as well hv done the smart thing n leave the bloody system. wasted. no achievements, no nothing. pls don reprimand me for lamenting - you nvr noe a man's burden by sight alone.

i want to take a break from school. the self-declared 6-period break today isnt enough to replenish my mind to its usual sanity. i need to clarify things. mind-heart-body.

equilibrium imbalance; le chatelier's principle sets in

you go thru every week learning smthg new abt urself, else the week's not worth it. perhaps. anw, i jus realised i'm reli the sort who dissolves under tension. (a GP passage warned me not to use the word stress too loosely, hence i avoid it). i'm in such a state..

D-Day tmr. in this case, deliverance/doom doesnt matter. its both.

It’s a damn cold night

Trying to figure out this life

Won’t you take me by the hand?

Take me somewhere new

I don’t know who you are

But I, I’m with you,

I’m with you, mmm

-avril lavigne. i'm with you.

Ultimatum - Goodbye.

You're either in or you're out,

Please stop torturing me;

I'm already fed up,

I'm sorry.

Sorrie

okay i'm back to normal again

thx mia n dia (yep, coincidence) for listening to me, n all da s'goon badminton pple n maan for distracting me. n most imptly thank God for healing me.

y'all deserve cookies, heex, if i can get hold of sum, tt is. anw, for those who dont noe wat caused me to lose normality, (if there's such a word), y'all neednt find out. its over, i shld think.

mi mom thinks ushnish de drove to mi house - apparently he looks old enough to. granted. she did get quite worried when she saw de big guy show up at the front gate n yell "hurry up la" impatiently. guess she must hv thought i'm messed up with some india mafia. not a nice thought.

anw, i spent mi whole afternoon asleep - n den a bit of studying - mechanics 12 was reli reli very easy. (sori, redundancy n repetitiveness. oops again...). now onto stats 13.1. 13's nvr a nice no. but then, i was born on the thirteenth. hurhur.. guess good things CAN come from that day then. =D.

minority report today - is it nice? wonder. onli one way to find out. finish my remaining work n watch the last bit. =(. yeahhhh..

i wanna change my blog template again, but then not reli no time, like keegan, ample time to like change his banner every other day hehex.. btw, keegan, the banner looks quite nice as it is. white's cool, but its not mi colour. duh.. (pardon the pun).

N once again, thanks all. n omg, sch's tmr.. boohoo.. adieu~

cheers~ n peace.

Well, this is one of the few times my bad mood didnt go away after a goodnights rest. perhaps i'll pay for my stupidity which i call foresight. perhaps not.

see, i can never forget what yoda said in ep5 i think. "always in motion, the future is." unpredictable, yes.

well, perhaps we could question that statement. if you jump off the empire state bldg, we can easily tell your future. for the first few seconds, maybe minutes even, you will see nearing doom - the sidewalk. after that, perhaps you wld end up splattered upon the sidewalk. not a nice scene, definitely. wonder why pple still do it (jump). definitely to make a statement, as one of the reasons. i dunno. even if i ever got so far as thinking of it, jus the "foresight" of seeing my body splattered upon the sidewalk turns me off. there're cleaner ways to die. but i guess, no matter what, we still have to live as much as God wills us to. i mean, you dont turn back a gift to its giver right? tts rude. well why am i talking abt suicide? the truth?

i have no idea. jus random.

don worry, i hv no suicidal thoughts. yet. n i hv no intention of getting them. fullstop.

okay, badminton was fun, esp the last few minutes, cos thats the time when mi previously hard smash returned to me. u can tell when your smash is hard when you hear its sound resonating thru the hall. a beautiful sound.

but no matter, i still aint going for badminton tmr. mi mind is reli not where it shld, or could, be. its busy worrying abt disasters it itself predicts.

tts prob the problem with mi mind - always busy worrying abt disasters it itself predicts.

eg playing chess? the guy moves a pawn up and i'm panicking "y da hell did he do that? is he like hatching up some master scheme to down me? omgomgomg..." well perhaps its an exaggeration la. but anw, in case you need/want to noe, a pawn in chinese chess can be quite dangerous. yea.

but i digress once again.

coming back home (gobs n i) we had a great time, together wid my siblings, bullying shaWiza via phone.. she wont see this, i'm sure, so i don mind going on. hehex...

nah, later i'll feel evil again. anw its abt a sec2 class photo. heex. poor sha... wid frens like this who needs enemies eh...
okay..

cheers~ n peace.

off mi chest.

finally it works. for so long i tried to get into blogger, but failed.

oh pardon this, it might get a bit personal now - what?? i'm human too okay - but i shall try to keep my ranting as short and erm.. sweet. anything but.

bcos sumhow things not gg according to how they could go. yeah, yeah, i tell myself it can be worse.. but tt line reli soon loses its healing properties. if sumbody told you i'm over interest in certain others, sumbody lied. i'm still human, though i'm probably in a fac where u might think otherwise, granted. but reli - why dream? why chase a fading shadow? why try to find the end of a rainbow? why try to scoop water out of a sinking ship?

Hope. a driving force of motivation for some, a retarding force for others.
Hope. keeps some alive, keeps others better off dead.

somehow, perhaps what i wish for will come true. mind-heart dilemma. rmb. i've been classified, rightly in my opinion, as a level-headed, practical, and an oh-so-unromantic person. destiny has to be fulfilled. carved out of stone, yes. but fulfilled in the end.

you know, to give up hope (in this case) is so much easier - for my mind, my heart, everything. lost cause. go. and be happy. i shan't stop you. do as you please.

bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

back! yeah pardon, tt was my clone talking. hehex. my depressed clone. but don matter him. he just needed to get some stuff off his chest. ali G is in the house! got the cd. but somehow watching at home doesnt have the oomph... of watching wid frenz. pity. wow, i'm sleepy now. i think i'm gona bed.

cheers~ n peace.